Sunday, December 6, 2009

Vrolijke Kerstfeest

My family was invited to our friends' house for a Dutch Christmas party. It was so much fun learning about their family tradition. We enjoyed a smorgasboard of wonderful Dutch food and some American favorites, too.

We learned about Sinterklaas and Swarte Pete and sang a Dutch Christmas song.

The kids went on a potato hunt throughout the house. Then Swarte Pete arrived throwing candy out to all the children and Sinterklaas gave a gift to each child.

It was a really lovely night with friends, new friends, neighbors and Gretchen's family. This is a picture of me with the two hostesses, Lola and Gretchen, as they are adorned in their Dutch costumes (minus the hats).

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Red (neck) and Green Season

I went downstairs to the basement to find some ribbon for my newly purchased Christmas presents when I saw a sight so shocking - so horrible I didn't know what to even do. I was on the phone with my BFF, Karen, when I described the gruesome scene:

Little pieces of wood and sheetrock left the telltale signs. Watercolors, paintbrushes, glitter, glue, ribbon, pom poms. I know the basement looks like a construction zone anyway, because there is some construction going on. I had visions of - no, not sugarplums - vacuums, sponges, weeping and wailing. Karen laughed a little too hard but I understood. It was her turn to laugh, afterall. It's usually her kids playing with the liquid pump soap in the sink, or the toothpaste or the toilet paper. My youngest is a year older than her oldest, so I thought I was done with all the disasterous stuff.

I decided to play a little trick on Mimi (age 9). I went upstairs and said (while Karen was on the phone), "Can you believe what Seth (age 19) has done? He has been making a mess with paint and sheetrock and wood downstairs. He even made a heart out of sheetrock and glitter and pom poms."

"Seth has?!" Jared asks.

"Yes, Seth. He left a big mess downstairs - it's everywhere!" I answered.

Mimi 'fesses up, "It's MINE!"

"It's your mess?" I'm trying to stay straight-faced and Karen is not helping.

Jared said, "I was wondering, Seth - doing work?"

Mimi's eyes start watering, "It's mine! You probably saw your Christmas present!"

Okay, now I feel kinda bad. Amazing how she glued two pieces of rectangle sheet rock together to make a heart, covered in glitter and pom poms!

I went to lunch with my friend Princess Na'alie (that's Natalie with a Cockney accent) a couple weeks ago and told her all about the wallet my Mimi made for our neighbor who used to be her teacher at church. It was made of silver duct tape. I told Na'alie I was trying to talk Mimi out of giving it to her, but never mentioned the words "she's going to think we're rednecks." Mimi thought it was so beautiful, being silver with hearts drawn on it and had her name "Lori" written on it. I got a sweet message on Facebook saying she loved the wallet and loved Mimi. It was truly a gift from Mimi's little heart. Na'alie wants one now.

I'm adding some pictures in case you want to place your orders.

We are back ordered on duct tape wallets at this time.

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Here's a few pictures from our "Roman Ruins - How to Host A Murder" night. We had so much fun and had yummy food and wonderful company! I get to play the poor widow of the victim (Flabbius) and everyone at the dinner table were suspects. I was Mercedes and drove a four horsepowered chariot. Jared was Harangus Adnauseum, a senator.
Then there was Cleptopatra and Maximus played by our friends Gretchen and David.
Matt and Rebecca were Licentius and Rotunda. Licentius was a trend setter in Roman fashion.

Then there was Bogus the priest of the Cult of the Blue Oyster and Flotilla who had a hard time keeping her ships afloat. These were our neighbors Lance and Jodi.

We had a great spinach dip for appetizers (that Clepto stole off the Internet), I tried my hand a Souvlaki - (also from the Internet - glad to have friends to sample a new recipe - it was so good I may have to post it), pita bread (that I remembered half way through dinner), saffron rice, Greek Salad and a peach dessert.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Regarding Frolicking

I thought I would answer some questions asked of me in a blog post. We went to Oregon to visit my dad and step-mother over Labor Day and thought we would visit the Redwood Forest since we were so close. We had gone seven years ago and I had said about the forest, "I feel like a tiny little fairy amongst all these huge trees." So we thought we would rent costumes and dress the part. Now some people would think that is a strange idea, but my family had so much fun doing this and it has created a forever memory. I reluctantly added a picture of myself (because we know how much I love getting my photo taken) and I am kissing my little Mimi in the picture, which is the best of a bad bunch. It was drizzling rain and my hair protested so in most pictures I look more like a scarecrow than a fairy. There weren't a lot of people around during our photo session, so we didn't have to feel too uncomfortable. Actually, I think I was the only one who felt uncomfortable and once again thinking, "Me and my big ideas!"

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Sunday, August 16, 2009

30% Of Life

I walk by the boys bathroom and I hear a loud belch. I try not to giggle. Then there's the boy who is peeking around the wall and when he sees me he disappears behind it. Then there's the table of workers when a lone worker stands up quickly and rolls his fists around each other doing a disco move and sits back down unnoticed, but I noticed. And I laugh unnoticed because I'm not used to seeing people doing such random things. Well, in the real world anyway.

Then there was a girl who started a fight with another girl because she held the door open because she was new.......and didn't know who the boss of the door was. Another girl was reminded to give people their personal space.

Then there's this boy that asks me every time I see him if I like him......followed by "I'm going to watch you in that movie on Friday. This many times!" and holds up a couple of fingers. "You won't forget me now, will you?" He thinks I look like an old time western television star. I look nothing like her.....not even a little bit.

There's a girl walking down the hall with her arms folded and her bottom lip sticking out, pouting, and another who lets out a blood curdling scream because she is having a temper tantrum.

A boy came up to me and showed me his certificate that he earned for perfect attendance. Another boy showed me his certificate for "Employee of the Month." A girl told me she was absent yesterday because she was throwing up and had "dia-wee-ah."

It sounds like a typical day in kindergarten, but this is my workplace with adults with disabilities. I love it. So when I skip down the hall trying to make our HR Manager laugh, I just fit in.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Nothing to Say but Thanks

I just wanted to say thank you for the prayers and thoughts that have been in my behalf. Though I don't have a major catastrophe (define "major") happening in my life, I have been going through some very personal things and I appreciate your thoughts. I hope to be back and raring to go when the kids are back in school and my house is somewhat clean and I have time to think.

Monday, June 22, 2009

Name That Tune Monday - Answer

It was House of the Rising Sun by the Animals. Thanks, James! Alex was our winner this week.

Name That Tune Monday 6-22-09

Our friend James sang this a while back. Name the title and artist of this song. The author is unknown and has been performed by serveral people so name the version of this song. G'luck!

Friday, June 19, 2009

Greetings Visitors

I'm so excited to see you if I could I would jump all over you! Thanks for the coveted Golden Hydrant Award. I will be sure to leave my scent marking on it and send it back! Since a lot of you will be from "Life With Dogs" and love our canine friends I will tell you about my little experience last night which has still left me traumatized!

Copper is new to our family (two weeks now) and we haven't owned a dog in our 20 years of marriage. If you click on that link you will see him and his new best friend, Mimi. No, Mimi is not a cat. She is a nine year old homosapien. If you don't know what a homosapien is, you might be surprised, because she is a very special breed.

Copper has a girlfriend. I knew from his previous owners that it was a pink volleyball. I chose to leave her behind and hoping Copper would forget her quickly and adapt to abstinence. He found a beautiful lime green volleyball to replace her. I don't know where this ball came from, so it must have been fate.

I was in my bedroom when my cell phone rang. I had to open my bedroom door to get it and as soon as my door was opened my eyes and mind were tainted forever. It was Copper and his girlfriend showing public displays of affection. The funny thing was the look on his face. He looked totally guilty. I said in my most disappointed/disgusted voice, "COPPER!" Off he came. "That ball needs to stay outside!" I really don't know how it made it's way inside. Catching Copper in the act is something I don't want to do again.

So this morning he left a gift on the carpet. I actually considered photographing it and posting it, but even Life With Dogs doesn't do that. It would be bad taste, I know. I don't know if this was just regression from adjusting to a new family or in protest of catching him in the act. Any advice for new dog owners on helping dogs find a new hobby? At least he hasn't resorted to legs! ;-)

Monday, June 15, 2009

Name Your Tune Monday

I apologize, but this week I couldn't pull off Name That Tune Monday. Lots of friends are on vacation this week and unavailable, so I will be hitting them up and hopefully getting ahead of myself for the next several weeks. I have had fun providing little gifts for friends and I really love to give things.

Do you remember the series "Ally McBeal"? One thing I remember (besides the dancing baby) was the "theme song" the therapist recommended to have. Mine is "Give a Little Respect" by Erasure. I never get sick of that song and when I pop in my "Pop" CD I belt out that tune like know one can hear me. I don't think they can actually hear me but it probably looks really weird to see a minivan with a loud "thump, thump" coming from it. I'm sure I look totally fine in my sun glasses with my mouth opened wide as I'm singing, "Tooo-ooo-oooo-ooooo meeeeee!"

My other theme song would be another oldie, but goodie, "Break Free" from Queen. That is one jammin' good song. I've got my kids and their friends loving that song and when I play taxi that is the song most requested and we have to have it up loud and we all sing it VERY loud. Of course we are all dancing in our seats and in this case probably looks weird to see a minivan full of teens with a mom, hearing "thump, thump" and watching it bounce three feet off the ground in rhythm.

I drove to Arizona a couple of summers ago and we jammed all the way listening to Queen. We didn't get sick of them at all and it was shortly after seeing "Ella Enchanted" where Anne Hathaway sang "Somebody To Love." She did a fun version of it but I have to say when I hear Freddie sing it I see ogres dancing now.

So......I want to know this week what your theme song is or would be if you had one. Please share!

Monday, June 8, 2009

Got Treats?

So here I was, with my family in the country, playing with my favorite stick. I saw a van pull up and a very hot lady human and a girl human got out. I decided to say hi. "Hello! Hello!" I jumped up so they could to pat my head better. "Where's my stick?" I ran and got it and handed it to the new humans so they could throw it for me. Surely, they won't be sick of throwing it. They were talking to my family and kept looking at me. My roommates kept going over to see them but I got the most pats. Naa, naa, nanny, naa. Then they left.

A couple of sleeps later and here were those new humans again. They pet me and talked to me. I have no idea what they were saying but it sounded friendly. Hey! The van door is opened - I wonder what's in there. The little human kept calling my name. There's nothing too exciting in the van but we're going for a ride - that's fun. Weeeeee!

I like that little human. "Mimi" is her name. She tastes really good and I even tasted the inside of her mouth. I don't think she liked that. Mimi took me on a walk and kept throwing my stick for me. I like that. Then I played with my new ball. It didn't quite fit in my mouth so I pushed it along the floor until I could pick it up with my teeth. I got some treats, too.

Inside of her house I can run a circle and then another circle. I think they call that a figure eight. They even had a dish with food and water. They are so kind. When am I going home? Grrrr, that itches. So I licked my legs and my belly because it feels a little better with spit on it. Doesn't taste as good as the inside of Mimi's mouth, though. Or as good as treats.

I spent the night and slept in Mimi's bed. I like being under the covers so I use my nose to lift them and then I crawl all the way under and turn around to poke my head out. I tasted her face again. Yep. Still delicious. Makes me want a treat.

I woke up and had to potty. Mimi let me out and she threw the ball to me. We played fetch and more fetch. I like running after things and seeing how many times people will throw things to me. I also found a new girlfriend. She's a hot little lime green volleyball. I got in trouble for PDA inside the house. I really liked her and kept looking at her and the grown ups said she has to stay outside. I have another ball that's a beach ball and I like to keep it up in the air and not let it touch the ground. Sometimes the furniture gets in the way.

Then come the treats. Mmmm! Treats! Dang! I hate doin' the ballerina dance, it's for wusses. Mmmm! Treats! I don't wanna sit down, the floor's cold. Mmmm! Treats! What if I lie down, roll over, army crawl and bark all at once before you even ask me to? Just gimme the freakin' treat!

We went for a ride and a grown up took my picture while I had the one and only nap all day. Mimi would make a Jack Russell proud - she has so much energy. I wonder if she gets treats.

Name That Tune Monday - Answer

The song was from that famous movie (that I've never seen) Xanadu. Olivia Newton John sings Magic, which was my favorite song in the eighth grade. Flea! You have won this week! I'm so excited to send you something. Just leave me your address and you will get a little goodie!

Name That Tune Monday

This little song was a very big hit back in 1980. This time it's me sporting my new short do - not the best hair day but those have become rare. Name the song and the artist and claim a little pressie from me!

Friday, June 5, 2009

It's a Boy!

This is the latest addition to the family, Copper. Isn't he a sweetheart? He even has freckles just like Mimi!

On the way to get Copper, Mimi asked, "Does Copper still have his ball?"

I started laughing and she repeated herself. Ali was in the car and she said, "What is she asking?"

"Just what it sounds like," I answered.

"No, really, Mom. Does he have his ball under him?" I'm laughing hysterically at this point and it totally reminds me of my cousin's story when my husband had to explain the difference between boys and girls to her little son. You can read about that in my comments from Mom to Elijah in June 2nd's entry "The Birds and the Bees and the Flowers and the Trees."

"Does she mean balls?" Ali asks in disgust, in which Mimi quickly says, "Ew." I guess she didn't know what she was asking. Maturation class isn't for another year and a half! She'll be in 4th grade at the start of school in the fall and that seems to be the crossing over of sweet and innocent to ....... wait! What happened?

He has a sweet little face and has taken to Mimi and even softened the heart (slightly) of her dog hating big sister. The owners only had him since November and had another Rat Terrier, too. Copper disappeared for about four weeks in which they thought he was gone forever and got a puppy to replace him. The puppy (Golden Retriever) and the other dog get along like peas in a pod and when Copper was returned (because he has a microchip) they had to give one up. Copper needed to be an only child - I mean dog - and so he was meant to be ours. I can't wait to see how well he gets along with the hamster! Mimi will spoil this dog to pieces and he will be well loved and I'm sure he'll love her back like only a dog can. Minus the bad habits of dogs with a ball.

Last Weekend's Animals

We went to my friend's house to see her new baby goats. They were adorable. Mimi loves animals of just about any kind, but we are from suburbia, so she rarely gets to see anything other than a dog or cat. Because we are "semi-country suburbia" we see an occasional pheasant or dead skunk or dead raccoon.

So going to my friend's property with goats and horses was quite the treat. Mimi couldn't get over the smell but loved the animals anyway.

This was before she knew the difference between boy animals and girl animals - she just knew the mama goats were with the babies and the daddy goat was penned up outside the corral.

As she held one of the babies it cried for it's mama and the mama cried for it's baby. One set of babies was only a week old.

I had a picture of the horses too, but I just noticed it had to be cropped because someone found the fresh country air itchy and found the dairy air - or derriere to be too much. So no picts of horses this time.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

The Birds and The Bees and the Dogs and the Trees

I've been wanting a dog for Mimi since she is seven years younger than her next sister. She really loves animals and would love something that would love her back. Jared doesn't want a dog. I've been waiting for us to get a fence put in, but I realized that if I keep threatening to get a dog, our fence may never get put up. So, I'm sure if we get a dog, it will be built.

We almost had a dog this past weekend. I stopped by my friend Janine's to deliver a treat and after petting her dogs she told me she was trying to get rid of one of them. The two rat terriers weren't getting along. We talked for a long time about the dog so we thought we would do a trial. If they miss him too much or he doesn't work well for our family, we would leave it open and let him go back to Janine's.

Ruger rode in my van on the way home and was really scared. When we got home, I closed the garage door and let Ruger come out. He was too shy. Finally, I got him and put him on Mimi's lap and thought I would surprise Jared. Jared has been adamant about not getting a dog. He protested at first and then saw how sweet Mimi was with Ruger. Then he commented on what a great name Ruger was, after a gun. I didn't know that, I just thought it was a cute dog name.

Then Jared googled "rat terriers" and found out they like to hunt small animals and what they were bred for. He began liking Ruger a little more. Ruger kept following me in the house and I really needed to let him know he wasn't my dog, but Mimi's dog. He slept on Mimi's bed and when he heard the hamster run on the wheel, he perked right up. He was probably thinking, "So that's what fast food is all about."

I went to wake Mimi up for school the next morning and Ruger actually growled at me. Alas. He knows he's Mimi's dog and not mine. When I was at work I got a text from Janine and she said, "Scooter is looking everywhere for Ruger. He's checked all the hiding spots and slept in Ruger's spot. I think we need him back." I knew my Mimi would be broken hearted. So I called Jared and said, "Let her know we'll let her help pick out a dog this week from a shelter."

That helped her hold back the tears some. Then she asked if we were going to get a boy dog or a girl dog. I said I wasn't sure. She said, "How do you know if it's a boy or a girl? Do they have to do a test?" I really thought by age nine she would know about these things, but obviously not.

"I'll show you how to tell the difference when we go pick one out," I answered. We had to drop Ruger's papers off this afternoon and I thought this would be a good opportunity to show Mimi what a boy dog looks like. I let Janine do the honors.

She said, "Well, boy dogs have these," as she points to the ......."how technical do you want me to be?"

"Weenie," I answer.

"Weenie. And in the back there is a little bag that helps them to make puppies. That's how you know they are boys." Mimi remained quiet. I'm just glad she didn't ask any more questions about how puppies are made.

So, we had a loaner dog, a trial terrier, to practice pooch ownership. We will be dog owners by the weekend, I'm sure.

Monday, June 1, 2009

Name That Tune Monday - Answer

Today's Name That Tune was "Just Call Me Angel" by Juice Newton. Do you think that could be a stage name? Diane wins this week!

Name That Tune Monday 4

Name this tune and artist. Leave your answer in the comments - can't wait to hear your comments! This is my good friend Renae again who was so gracious to sing for Name That Tune Monday. I just wasn't "in voice" this week after having a minor surgical procedure in my throat. I've got some fun friends and fun songs lined up, so keep checking in on Mondays at 10:00 AM MST.

Friday, May 29, 2009

A Meme From Jodi (Beacon of Hope)

What activities make you lose track of time? Playing on the computer (Facebook, Blogging, editing, etc.) or having a Girls' Night Out. Next thing you know it's 2:00 AM!

What did you imagine yourself being the most when you were little? I used to play "school" a lot and thought I would be a teacher. I also wrote a newsletter for the neighbor kids with games and drawings of puppets I used to own. This would explain why I like writing.

If you could jump into any book what would it be and why? I really enjoyed the book "The Doll People" by Ann M. Martin & Laura Godwin. I could see myself entering the doll world and getting into mischeif when the humans were asleep.
Midnight Snack
What is your favorite thing to fix for dinner? If doing the dishes wasn't an issue, I like cooking a dish called Homestead Chicken Pie. It's my family's favorite.
Recipe of the Week (instead of your recipe for life what is it just for the week?) My recipe for the week: For Memorial Day - remember those who have passed on, support our military and celebrate the living. We are blessed to live in a free country.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Twisted Toiletries

This is one of the most stinkin' cutest gifts I have given. This was a Christmas present for my daughter, Ali who is 16. When I saw this in Nordstrom's, I loved the little bottle it came in. It's called Angel by Gwen Stefani. I smelled the perfume and all of her perfumes. They all had one not so subtle undertone in the scent in common. They all stunk, stank, stinketh! Yuck! But I figured if I didn't like it, Ali would. And she did. When I went downstairs to the teens' bathroom, I was in shock how clean it was. I liked how Ali had her perfume strategically placed in front of the make up brush and I just had to turn Lil' Angel slightly forward to avoid a profile.

This next photo is of the lotion I use, Victoria's Secret "Amber Romance." This is the gel my husband uses called "Got2b glued." Many a time I have almost used his gel as lotion. Their bottles are almost identical. As I told him about that, instead of him complaining that my stuff is on his side of the two sink vanity, he tells me he has almost used my lotion for gel and that he will start putting his gel away. WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH MY HUSBAND? Maybe this was just his way of telling me to put my stuff away, too. Pinky the rubber duck doesn't care as long as she gets her picture taken.

This last picture of toiletries is the most baffling. Do I treat zits or wrinkles?

Monday, May 25, 2009

Name that Tune Monday Answer

Name that Tune Monday - James' Jingle 5/25/09

James is the next performer.....the husband of Renae from last week. He is the one who started all this karaoke singing business and sold us the piano responsible. Thanks for all the fun you've added to our lives - not to mention what has inspired my Ali to sing! Name the tune - and yes, I've distorted the song title again. So fun!

Sunday, May 24, 2009

File Moniter

That was as good as I could get with my job. I was trying to think of some name to glorify what I do. I bought Mall Cop this weekend so my eight year old could watch it when her friend slept over. I watched it with them and I really don't know what was funnier.......the movie or the forced laughter from the girls at the really stupid parts. They almost died laughing at the segway video the grandma posted on the computer. I didn't think it was that funny, but Mimi kept rewinding the DVD. Then at the parts I laughed at - the girls remained silent for a few seconds and must have thought, "Oh. We better laugh so it looks like we got it," followed by more forced laughter.

When is forced laughter a good thing? When it's your young one practising their sense of humor out and you really want to encourage it. When is it a bad thing? When it's your husband and it just wasn't that funny and you want to discourage it.

Friday at work I brought up to the three other secretaries I work with, "You know how we come in and all day long we're sayin', 'I'm sooo tired. I have nooo energy.' What if we come in and say the opposite? What if we said, 'I have soooo much energy! I can hardly sit still! I should have a trampoline pad for my chair seat because I just can't stay in my seat."' Maybe that would take effect on us. So during the day I would say loudly and enthusiastically, "I have so much energy!" Then around 3:00 I announced with a voice as slow as Ben Stein's and my eyes half closed, "I have sooo much energy. I don't know what to do with myself." I'm going to keep working on that one.

Forced funniness, affirmed energy, what else do we need to convince ourselves of? "I love having PMS, it defines who I really am." WHATEVER. Any favorite affirmations from you?

P.S. I had another phone call dream.....the anxiety build up before the call but it had a happy ending. Dreams can be so liberating.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

You Thought Duct Tape Was Handy

How many of you have husbands that you have to beg to do things around the house? This was a problem at my house......more than I'm willing to elaborate on. One day, my husband came home from work in a bad mood and was mad the house was untidy. He was ranting and raving and started vacuuming the floor. I'm not complaining that he was vacuuming the floor, just that he was running over anything and everything that happened to be on the floor.

Of course, this changed the mood of everyone in the household, including mellow little me. (Ha!) I went to my room and closed the door, smoke coming out of my ears. I thought, "There's things I've asked to get done that haven't been done." The one thing that came to mind is hanging the curtains in our bedroom. I don't have the hand strength to operate a drill, so I had to depend on him to do the job.

"Well, if he's going to be all ornery about vacuuming because he had to do it, then I'm going to hang my own dang curtains," I thought. I'm not quite sure those were the exact words I was thinking.

So, I put the curtains in my fancy curtain rod and got the staple gun and stapled along the bottom of the rod. From a distance it looked quite nice. My husband didn't notice until the next day that I took care of one thing on the "Honey Do" list. He was quite first. Later he decided to do the job right minus the staples. "Git 'er done" is a great motto.

Monday, May 18, 2009

Almost Famous

Everyone, meet Renae. Renae, this is everyone. Renae has been a friend of mine for about 11 years. We have watched our kids grow up since before kindergarten. Renae has a very gifted voice and I'm glad she will let me be her back up singer. This is one of our friends' favorites for us to sing together. Unfortunately, the audio on my camera and/or computer doesn't allow things to sound as rich as they should, but use your imagination and guess the title and artist of this song. You made need the luck of the Irish.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Weird Wednesday

Frantic Phone Calls

I had some weird dreams this week, involving phones. The first one was: I made a phone call to someone who I've had "tensions" with. The person who answered the phone in my dream thought it was important that I tell my story to the person involved. They called the other person to the phone and I was afraid they wouldn't accept my phone call at all. When they answered I started, "You've only heard one side of the story, I think that it's important that you hear my side of the story, too." Amongst my story I had to deliver some upsetting news (that is equal to a Greek tragedy). It was weird that my subconscious thoughts were played out in a dream. Of course, in my dream my news was accepted without further tensions.

The second dream involving a frantic phone call was more stressful. There was a small girl hanging high in some power lines. People were trying to get a ladder up but they couldn't reach her. I yelled, "Has anyone called 911?" No one had. I ran around the neighborhood frantically looking for a phone to call 911. The first phone ended up being an old cell phone that was now a child's toy. The second phone told me I mis-dialed the number. Then I got a wrong number. Meanwhile, a child's life was at stake and the clock was ticking. I don't know what this dream was about. Any interpreters out there?

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Beauty and The Beast

Wuntsa ponna time, there was a beautiful girl named Beauty. Somehow, it was an effort for her to live up to the name. She had to get her hair colored every other month, which cost a small fortune. She had to watch what she ate so they wouldn't call her "Beauty and the Feast." She bought mascara in bulk and and owned stock in lipstick companies. Finally, she had to hire a personal trainer, which was another small fortune.

They called her personal trainer "The Beast." Beauty showed up at his gym early in the morning. Personally, I think mornings are horrible and have a strange allergy to them, but some people like them. The Beast never goes to bed.

"Good morning, Beastie Boy," said Beauty, as enthusiastically as she could.

"If you're talking, you're not working hard enough," said The Beast.

"But my session hasn't formally started yet, Beast," she answered.

"Doesn't matter! Quiet! Or I will keep you in this gym forever," he shouted. A horrible fate that would be, so she shut right up.

She ran on the treadmill. She did crunches. She did leg lifts. She bench pressed her body weight. She rowed into the next city and spinned until the dust turned into gold. Her abs, gluts, lats, and quads were burning. She was trapped. She couldn't muster the strength to crawl out of the gym. She was his prisoner. "Please, Beast. Let me free," she begged.

"Only if you promise to return," he answered in his raspy voice.

"I give you my word." She finally returned home. The next day she forgot about The Beast except for her aching muscles. She forgot about him until she had a dream about him and the squats he made her do because he cared for her. She awakened from her dream in a sweat and realized it was just a leg cramp causing her to have the strange dreams.

She thought of living up to the name of Beauty. "I can't stop now," she thought. "It's like having the name Joy and being full of melancholy. It's like being named Lucky and having no luck. It's like being named Angel and being sinful. I need The Beast now more than ever."

She returned to the gym prepared to give her soul to The Beast. He was happy for her return and said, "A wicked witch put a curse on me and I'm not really a beast, but a really nice guy. I like cheesecake, too." This sealed the deal and they were married and lived happily ever after in moderation.

Monday, May 11, 2009

Name That Tune Monday Answer

Blondie AKA Debbie Harry singing "Sunday Girl" who needs to hurry up and wait. Mom to Elijah guessed half of the answer but I will send a full prize to you, since it was a hard one, so send me your address!

Name That Tune Monday

This is the first of my new "Name That Tune Monday" and hope that you find it fun. I attempted to dress up like her, so don't think I wear my hair like that all the time! I do wear my favorite suit to work, though. Where there seems to be a glitch in the video is actually the title of the song. My son added that little feature. Here goes.....first one back with the correct song title and artist gets a goody! I'll post the winner at 12:00 PM MST.

Need another hint - 1979. The artist goes by two names (not preceded by "Formerly known as"). One is her band, one is her name. Another hint: She sings the same song in French as well.

On the right track, folks! Blondie is correct - the song is.... _____ Girl?

Saturday, May 9, 2009

Happy Mother's Day

First, Happy Mother's Day tomorrow to all my wonderful friends (that would be you!) Speaking of identities in my last post, wow. Becoming a mother certainly changes your identity, doesn't it? For the better, of course. What would we do without the title? I forget who I even was B.C. (Before Children).

I'm going to try a little new something on my blog, besides Twisted Tale Tuesday, which I failed to write this last week. I'm going to have a "Name That Tune Monday." Some friends and I will be singing a few lines of a song by video and the first one to name the song title and/or original artist (specified) I will send a little prize to. I hope you have fun with it. I will post it at 10:00 AM Mountain Standard Time. It will be so fun to hear from you.

Today my hubby, Jared, and I went to an antique store and I found the perfect ring. I tried it on and it was like Cinderella trying on her glass slipper. My ring size is hard to find (5 1/2) and it was my size and beautiful. Since I've lost so much weight my other wedding set doesn't fit. So, darn, I had to get a new ring. I've been looking at rings with three stones on them, this one I like because it has three sides which can be symbolic of: my three kids or God, Jesus and Holy Ghost. The two diamonds can be a symbol of me and Jared. What do you think?

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Choose An Identity

I think it's kinda funny when you leave a comment on a blog and it says, "Choose an identity." I thought about this question a lot and ask, "Hmmm. Who would I like to be today?"

When I was in first grade, I'll never forget sitting in class and the teacher was calling the roll. She called my name. I ignored it....on purpose. She called me again and looked up, "Krista?" I remember looking everywhere except her eyes and answered, "My name is changed."

She asked, "Oh really? What's your new name?"

"Karen," I answered proudly.

"Karen?" She asked. Yes! My class will call me by my favorite name now! "You'll have to bring a note from home telling me your name is changed." I could feel a tiny, six year old size dagger go through my little six year old heart. I was caught in my lie. Darn! Now I'll have to be stuck with being plain old Krista.

The other day I forwarded an e-mail from my home account to my friend at work's account. She wrote back, "Who is this from? What is your name?" So of course, I take this opportunity to tell her my name is "Princess Krista, Her Royal Highness, Her Majesty, but you can call me Krista." It's funny how that title makes you hold your head up a little higher.

Have you ever dressed up for Halloween and felt "in character?" That usually happens when I dress up like a witch. Have you dressed up for a formal occasion and felt ..... lacking a word here ..... elite? Have you been caught in your pajamas at 1:00 in the afternoon and felt like a lazy slob? Me neither.

So....what identity would you choose?

Monday, May 4, 2009


Ever since I was a little kid, I thought that was a funny line. You have to imagine that being said after one has sucked in helium and followed by, "Take me to your leader." It seems as if I have actually fallen off the planet, but I'm back. If even for a short visit.

I have a confession that I'm very leery on sharing. A small explanation for my disappearance (besides the fact that I was kidnapped by aliens and used as a scientific experiment.) I have been fighting "stinkin' thinkin'" which has gone beyond stinkin' thinkin' and classified as depression. I'm not the kind that usually advertises my problems because there is no market for them. The thing with depression is you don't really have a problem, per se, which makes you feel even worse for feeling the way you do.

In desperation of better feelings, I thought I would try tanning (or fake baking) at a local tanning joint. I'm not one who likes to tan - even naturally. I tanned about seven years ago when we went on a cruise in the middle of February and I didn't want to burn.

I've decided something even more awkward than standing in line at the Bishop's office is standing in line for a tanning bed. You don't want to make eye contact. When you do make eye contact with a person leaving you think, "Ew. Their butt sweat is on the bed I'm going to lie on." I know, they "sanitize" the beds but I sanitize mine again when I'm in there in case they missed a spot.

As I'm laying there I think about - wait. Awkward. I better be careful what I write here. My BFF, Karen, says she would like to tan but doesn't like basting in her own juices. So that makes me think about turkey which makes me think about chicken which makes me think about chicken knuckles falling off which makes me think about this. Then I wonder if that man I saw walking out of a tanning room earlier (Ew - guy butt sweat) was a policeman because I can smell bacon!!! Just kidding. Honestly, there is no occupation I have more respect for. But I did smell bacon and I did think that and I'm very sorry. And I laughed as I lay by myself in the broiler. Then I think about a song and try to refrain from singing. I always have a song in my head and I'm convinced I'm a perpetual musical.

Then I think how I'm in the buff and I'm getting a tan where the sun doesn't naturally shine. That makes me think of smokin' crack. I don't know why. I've never smoked crack. Probably because I can hear some cracklin' noises and wonder how much fat I'm burning off. Then I think of my son (and National Underwear Day) who stopped into my work today to say hi. Then I think of my daughter who wants to be in a pageant this summer because I hope she doesn't want to tan because it's so bad for your skin. Then I think of my other daughter who has freckles on her cute little nose because she plays in the sun, which is so bad for your skin.

Suddenly, I'm feeling much better. I thought my husband only paid for a month, which I was happy with (or as happy as you could be with depression.) Obviously my husband thinks I needed the light therapy because he actually signed me up for two months which should bring me into summer. Now I'm really upset with him because he must think I'm hard to live with and that's why he paid for two months. Now I'm depressed again, which reminds me of chocolate which reminds me of peanut butter which reminds me of the road to Heaven. Then I'm happy again.

Thursday, April 30, 2009

She's Almost Back

I had a few things in my life that needed some attention (you all know how that is) and had to take a small break. I've got some ideas floating around in my head, which is amazing - now if I could just catch one. I plan on catching up with you next week.......I hope you're still there!

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Under Construction

My blog will be under construction until further notice. Until then.....I'll stop by and say hi!

Mimi's New Experience

Jared and Mimi brought me lunch at work today and ate with me. She talked everyone's ears off and I decided to take her out the back to meet some clients. Disabled people aren't totally new to her but this breed was.

I took her to a table to meet one of my favorite people. This was "Marty" whom I referred to in an earlier post. He has Down's Syndrome and the three other people at his table had DS, too. Mimi had her teddy bear, Brady, that goes everywhere with her so I had her show them Brady. I told Mimi that Marty wants to be a policeman and that's why he was wearing a police hat and shirt. Then he showed us his badge which was clipped on his belt. "Look!" he said excitedly.

As we left the work area Mimi said, "Are all those guys brothers?" I said no. "They look like they're brothers."

I explained with their disability they have some of the same traits, like their eyes. She said, "I like their voices because they sound like little kids. Does their disease make them nice, because they were all nice? What else does their disease do?" So I explained sometimes they think a little slower and even though they're grown ups they think like kids. When I saw her this afternoon she was still talking about how cute their voices were and how nice they were.

Okay, I know disease probably wasn't the right word, but I was explaining this to an eight year old. I was glad she got to meet some of my favorite people and they could meet her and Brady.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Twisted Tale Tuesday

The Fly on the Wall

Wuntsa ponna time there was an insecure little prince named Curt. Actually, people weren't really sure if he was insecure or narcissistic, because sometimes he would come across that way. When others felt weak he would poke fun, only to cover up the fact that he was weaker. If his girlfriends didn't win beauty contests, he would call them losers, even though he would never even win the title of Mr. Puny-verse. When he was blamed for trouble - he would blame others and assign a whipping boy because he didn't want the others see him cry.

Curt walked out into the royal garden and to a royal pond. He looked into the pond and saw his reflection. "Handsome or not?" he asked. Just then a toad poked his ugly head out of the spot where Curt's face should have been. "NOT!" said the cheeky toad.

"How dare you speak to the royal prince that way! I shall teach you a lesson!" said the angry prince. He picked up a stone and aimed it towards the toad.

"Please don't hurt me," said the toad. "I am a magic toad and I will grant you one wish if you shall spare me."

The prince thought this over carefully, because he didn't want to wish for something silly. The little vain (or insecure) prince finally announced, "I want to know what everyone thinks about me!"

"Is that your final answer? Would you like to phone a friend?" asked the toad.

"No! I just want to ask the audience. I want to know what they think of me: if I'm handsome or smart or kind or worthy of a million riches."

"Your wish is granted," croaked the toad. Poof! The prince turned into a fly. He buzzed around and then realized the toad had tricked him and he was about to become toad kill.

"You tricked me - I spared your life and you tricked me!" buzzed the angry prince-sect.

"No, dear Prince. You have the ability to spy on anyone you would like without being noticed. Fly off now and get your answers." With that the toad dove back into the pond.

Curt decided to fly to the village. He entered a very fair maiden's house and hid on the bookshelf. He saw on the TV that the emergency broadcasting system had an alert for the missing prince. "Oh that silly prince!" said the fair maiden, "His humor is such he is probably right under our noses. He's probably outsmarted us all."

"She thinks I'm funny and smart," thought the prince-sect. He flew on to another fair maiden's house, a recent love interest.

Her name was Petunia. "The prince has probably ran away with some bimbo and he's so self-centered he would hate for anyone to find out - so he's in hiding." The strange thing was she was shouting this at the TV. The prince-sect was not pleased. "She thinks I'm stupid," he thought. The fact that she always called him an idiot probably didn't phase him.

"They can have each other, for all I care!" she shouted angrily, for she was hoping to be the one. But she wanted to have other lovers, too.

Finally, he flew to a quondam lover's house and landed on the litter box. He started to feel hungry, for some strange reason.

"Did you hear the prince was missing?" she said to her BFF. "He probably lost his identity and will look for it for the rest of his life. Like Amnesia - unless someone recognizes him and brings him back."

This made Curt unhappy. He buzzed in front of her face as she swatted and he flew into the other room for safety. She came after him with her shoe. "I'll teach you, you bugger." Now, I don't mean that in the naughty way for my overseas readers who consider that word a swear word. I mean it in the way that he was a bug and was bugging her.

He regretted knowing the truth now. He wished he never knew and flew quickly to find the toad, stopping by a pile of manure on the way. He really couldn't help it. The frog was waiting on a lily pad for the fly to return.

"Toad! I've got to change back! Please!" he shouted, desperately.

"Sorry Prince. One wish was the deal," he said. "What will you give me if I change you back?"

"I will let you kiss every fair maiden before me and let you chose who I marry," buzzed the prince.

"Deal!" and the prince was changed back to himself. Insecure or narcissistic? The toad picked a fine beauty for him, which was Petunia. Why Petunia? She was just what he needed to be motivated in his career, which he was highly successful and that's why he never came home. He made a lot of money and lived .....and lived until he died. The End.

Monday, March 23, 2009

Monday Mourning

I'm kinda sad today. The kids had a day off of school and my daughter, Ali, went on an official date for lunch. Why does that make me sad? It's just another reminder that she is growing up. This is my sweet little buddy who used to help me make my bed before she started kindergarten. She would run up the stairs and I would chase her pinching her bum saying "birdies gonna get your bum" or I would smack her little bottom. Then one day I was in front and I felt this tiny little hand smack my bum.

This is my little one who I nicknamed "Oodle Ali" taken from Disney's Robin Hood when the fox always said, "Ooh Dah Lolly!" We shortened it to "Oodle" and sometimes she will still answer to it. I also called her "Goofy Lou" and "Giggle Nugget" when she was being silly.

Now she's driving and going on dates. How did this happen? If all my kids were like her I could have had six. Genetics say otherwise.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

When Moms Attack

My friend over at The Rocking Pony inspired me to share a "mean mom" story. Sometimes us moms get a thrill out of keeping our kids on their toes. My daughter and her friends (age 14 at the time) would always hold their breath when we would pass a cemetary which is on our way home from most places. Sometimes I would slow down the car to a crawl so they would have to hold their breath longer.

One night as she and her friend were holding their breath I thought I would actually pull into the cemetary. They were scared to death. I had never pulled into the cemetary before and realized the road came to a stop. I said, "Look! It's a dead end!" They found no humor in that. I put the car into reverse and backed into a small parking lot. My headlights shined on the headstones straight ahead. I put the car into drive and as I went forward I let out a blood curdling scream. The girls screamed their heads off and one actually started to cry and I'm sure you're not surprised that I laughed hysterically.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Twisted Tale Tuesday


Once again my disclaimer - names and incidents are fictitious and in no way reflect true life. Any parallel to your own life is purely coincidental. You are thinking way too much about it.

Wuntsa ponna time there was a girl named Goldilocks. Goldilocks was actually her nickname, but the folks have been calling her that for so long they forgot what her actual name was. She didn't mind because during roll call at school, there was never anyone with the same name. She really hated it at Christmas time, though, because she could never find a mug or ornament with her name on it.

Goldilocks went for a walk one day and came upon a little log cabin. She knocked on the door and no one answered. She was very hungry and thirsty so she thought she could just go in and steal a little food and water without getting caught. All the other kids in the neighborhood were stealing so this was not out of the ordinary.

She noticed three chairs. A little chair, a medium chair and a tacky LazyBoy recliner. She sat in the LazyBoy and said, "This chair is too big." She moved on to the next chair and once again placed her tired little buns on it. "This chair is too......medium-ish." Then she sat in the little chair and said, "This chair is just right." She tilted back in it like she had been told a million times not to do. The back legs slipped right out from under her and she fell on the floor and bonked her head. She noticed the chair had broken and on the bottom of the seat it was quite noticeable why. There in large print said, "Made in China." Then she worried about lead poisoning.

This gave her a voracious appetite. She noticed three bowls of porridge, which for my American readers is actually the very same thing as cooked oatmeal. There is no difference except one starts with a "P" and the other with an "O". She tried the big bowl first and found it was too hot. She tried the next one in the medium bowl which was also too hot. Then she tried the small one and it was just right. She ate it all up and felt very tired but lowered her cholesterol by 15 points.

She found a bedroom with two beds in it. Two beds you ask? Why aren't there three? How many people procreate sleeping in separate beds?! This isn't the time or place for me to explain the birds and the bees, so I will just carry on with my tale. She didn't waste her time crawling into the big bed so she jumped right into the little bed. She quickly dozed off to sleep.

Suddenly, she was awakened by a sound. "Some one's been sitting in my chair" and "someone ate my porridge". BUSTED!!! She would not only get prosecuted for stealing but vandalism, too.

Then she saw a family of bears standing in the doorway. "Some one's sleeping in my bed!" cried the baby bear.

"Oh my H, a talking bear!" shouted Goldilocks as she jumped out of the window and ran all the way home. Once again, a silly little blonde. What are bears doing living in cabins with furniture and eating oatmeal?

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Johnny is a Sociopath

When I was younger, not that long ago, I used to think you had to befriend everyone. I thought if you weren't friends with everyone, that made you judgemental. I don't think it was until I went to London and met some very strange characters that my eyes were opened.

I was very sad when I asked Ali (16) about one of her friends I'll call "Sue". She announced that they weren't friends anymore. "WHAT?" I love this girl! Ali then tells me, "She's making some bad decisions and I don't agree with her, so we're not friends anymore."

I'm seriously broken-hearted. This is the funnest, bubbliest, craziest girl ever. "What is she doing?"

"She's guaging her ears, drinking and making out with a new boy every weekend. I don't want people to think I'm like that," she said, confidently.

So here comes the judgement thought: "Sue needs a good friend like Ali now more than ever." Here comes the realistic thought: "A girl's gotta protect her reputation, and Sue knows better."

We had a family night and discussed an article in "The Friend", a children's magazine. I was reading it when all of those thoughts came to me. The story was about a boy who made friends with another boy who no one would play with in which I add as if part of the story (plus I was testing to see if anyone was listening) "because Johnny was a weirdo who grew up to be a pedophile." They were listening! My teens laughed. It went directly over my 8 year old's head.

"Does it say that?" Seth asks.

Of course, I'm cracking myself up hysterically. So sad, but I do laugh at my own jokes. But here's the point: You don't have to be friends with everyone. We have a little feeling inside that gives us alarms for certain people and there's a reason for that. You can be polite to everyone, but Johnny could be a sociopath, so don't go to the movies with him!

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Twisted Tale Tuesday

I thought since other people have their days (that I love BTW) I would come up with one. Then when I have Blogger's Block, I can say anything in sarcasm and I'll feel better. If these stories have anything perpendicular to your life or you share the same name it is strictly by coincidence and not intended to display events realistically.


Wuntsa ponna time, there was a beautiful socialite named Rapunzel. She had blue eyes that reflected the stars and long golden hair that swept her waist. She could catch any man's attention....and she did. One demented creep anyway.

He was in love with her in his own mind. His name is Oscar. He didn't really know her, but he thought he loved her. Rapunzel was very wise and didn't give him the time of day because she knew if she did, he would lose interest.

Since she showed no interest, the only way he thought he could have her for himself is if he kidnapped her and put her in a tower. She still played hard to get and she really couldn't get over his name. "How would I ever be able to introduce him to people without feeling awkward?" she asked herself.

The townsfolk caught wind of her entrapment and one brave soul decided he would rescue her. He was not a prince, just a very strong and good-looking guy from town, named Mike. He went to the tower and called to Rapunzel. She stood at the window. "How will I ever get free?"

"We need a rope or something," he said.

"Well, my hair has grown a ton since I've been using Fructis hair fortifying shampoo and conditioner. Like the commercial, it's as strong as a rope," she said as she lowered her hair, "and that's just my armpits." She then lowered the braid from the crown of her head.

Mike climbed and climbed just like in PE when he climbed the rope. When he arrived at the top and saw Rapunzel without makeup he was astonished. He was still trying to get over her name being so weird and all. So he went to the tower door and pulled it open. Tired from all the climbing he asked, "Why didn't you just open the door?"

"I tried desperately to push it open with no avail!" she exclaimed.

"It says here 'PULL', not push!" he scorned. Rapunzel wept. Sometimes it's just hard being a blonde.

There was no wedding, no happily ever after, no prince or princess or open relationship. Just the end. Except Rapunzel hired a lawyer and now all doors in the town have automatic doors. And the author is happy to announce that spell checker has approved everything except "Wuntsa ponna." The end.

Friday, March 6, 2009

As you know, I had surgery on my right hand six weeks ago. I thought my penmanship was improving but still get teased about it at work occasionally. I had to fill out a permisson slip for Mimi to watch a video in class about animals hunting other animals. No, this was not the maturation class! Mimi's teacher called her up to her desk and said, "Mimi, this does not look like a grown up's handwriting."

After I quit laughing I asked, "What did you say?"

Mimi says as a matter-of-factly, "I said 'my mom's got a bad hand and she had surgery on it so she had to write with her left hand.'"

"What did your teacher say?" I asked.

"She said, 'Um, okay.'"

What 8 year old could come up with a story like that off the cuff? Her teacher should know Mimi's handwriting is better than my own forgery.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

How To Out Party Your Teenager

1. Start out with a slumber party that you can crash. Preferably a friend's daughter. Arrive at the party with your daughter. She will be slightly embarrassed - the party has started.

2. Suggest a trip to Wal-mart. This could be tricky so I recommend splitting up from the girls, otherwise it will be a competition to see who can embarrass the others more. We moms do have a reputation in public of being mature. And we don't want to get kicked out of the store.

3. Let them load up on sugary treats and energy drinks. You can sneak some from them when they're not looking.

4. While they are talking about friends and boys (or texting other people - I don't get it) you go on the computer and look up hilarious blogs like this one. That will remind you of your own funny story and another and another. By this time one of the girls should fall asleep - which would be my daughter. Where did I go wrong? Now you are embarrassed of the lack of partying skills that obviously skipped a gene.

5. Laugh until you are delirious and then invite a fun friend over. By this time you have three people who are catalysts to each other from one demented thought to another. Time to steal treats.

6. Tell the girls you are going to leave. Then continue absurd conversation that eventually leads to talking about the bathroom and aging. This will cause the girls to retire because they are mortified.

7. At this point you will be in pain from laughing too much. Your cheeks will look slimmer and your abs should feel a slight burn. Try to leave by 3 AM because you know how cranky moms can be when they don't get enough sleep.

Sunday, March 1, 2009

When Good Goes Bad

I've been contemplating whether I should write this post for a couple of reasons. One: I have no reason to complain. Two: It may seem arrogant. Three: Both topics are top secret. Please take it for what it is....embarrassing.

First: I've lost a significant amount of weight. I won't tell what my weight was or what I am now, but I went from a tight 14 to a loose 8. When people haven't seen me for awhile they are shocked. I didn't carry that amount of weight for long but long enough to do something about it. People ask me what my secret is. This is the bad part. I cringe when people ask me. I don't know how to answer that question. There was no secret. There's no pill. I'm not exercising my butt off. There's no diet plan. I'm not anorexic.

Why this is good gone bad? It's embarrassing to me because I don't have a great answer. I don't know if what I'm doing is healthy or not. I started off walking and weight training with Kevorki-Annie. Then I started work full-time and couldn't weight train with K.A. anymore because her night schedule was booked. I continued walking and when I took breaks at work I walked. Then I somehow lost my appetite. I know this is every woman's dream and it was mine. I started feeling nauseated and really had to force myself to eat. Since I wasn't hungry, I made wise choices. Then I came up with a philosophy: I'm not active at night and therefore I don't need the caloric intake. I eat my "large" meal at lunchtime and only have a snack or small meal at dinner. I haven't deprived myself of anything - treats, chocolate, etc.

It's a complicated answer and I hate explaining. It's a little embarrassing when people are shocked and make a fuss, but I'm happy to be 7 lbs under my goal weight and would like to lose another 7 and stop. I also am embarrassed because I got to the weight I did and you will never see before shots! Do I think others should be embarrassed of their weight? Absolutely not. But I feel I was very unhealthy and could see myself heading for onset Type 2 diabetes, heart disease or something else. My sweet husband says he liked me with more of a booty.

When good is bad again: (Co-workers, say nothing.) There is a sweet lady that works at my work who is going through a very rough time. She is so wonderful to the clients in spite of her personal life in shatters. I know she struggles financially in this bad time and I felt impressed to anonymously give her money. I put $20 in an envelope and put her name on it.

I am blessed and my income is extra - I only work for the health benefits. My husband is self-employed - need I explain about benefits. We're not rich but we live within our means, our needs and wants are taken care of and we don't have any debts except the mortgage. This sweet lady comes into our office and asked if we knew anything about the envelope given to her. The secretaries said no and asked why. She said, "Someone gave me a very generous gift and I wanted to thank them." Then her eyes filled with tears and she said if we find out tell them thank you for her.

Why this is bad? I should have given more. $20 is nothing and I should have dug deeper. Even though she was grateful - I feel bad that I didn't give more. The purpose of sharing this story is you may have the opportunity for service, so don't forget to dig deep.

Okay, so another freakin' serious post. I think I need to ban myself from blogging under the influence of melancholy. I'm still trying to channel my "Carol Burnett" and put away this "Socrates" (or is it actually Confusius - "He who stand on toilet is high on pot.")

Thursday, February 26, 2009

30% of Life

I love my workplace. It's very inspirational. They train and employ disabled people to work in the community or the more disabled work in our facility. I don't work directly with the clients, but I do occasionally have to go to their side of the building for things. Sometimes, I wonder if I actually work for an asylum. Someone will let out a blood curdling scream - her way of letting the others know she is having a tantrum.

One lady who is probably close to 50 years old comes in the door swearing. She shouts, "So shut up you d*** b**** sh**!" I found that a little humorous because it was out of context, but I've felt like that before.

Then there is a man, probably 50+, with shaggy sideburns and has the mentality similar to a six year old, I'll call "Dee." Whenever he sees me he says the exact same thing almost word for word. "Hey! I'm gonna watch that movie on Friday. And you're in it. Really. You look just like her, same face and everything." I'm embarrassed to say who Dee thinks I look like, but I look nothing like her. Maybe it's because we both have blonde hair. Then he asks, "Do you like me?" I say, "Of course I do. You're one of my favorite people." Then he asks, "Do you love me?" "Sure I do," I say. Then Dee says, "Okay."

Dee sometimes has bad days and though he has the mind of a child, he has the strength of a man. I was warned that he can be violent at times. So he was talking to another secretary and I hear his voice escalate, "Oh yeah?! Well then I'm gonna..." (Crap! What do I do?) "throw a pie in your face." (Whew! Relief!)

When I go in the back, all the clients are interested in who I am. I stop and talk to a few of them. They liked my pink cast. This little cute man with Down's Syndrome who is as wide as he is tall shows me his ace bandage on his knee. It took a full minute for him to lift his pant leg up. I asked if he hurt it and he says, "No. It's..." He looks at his hand and stares at his fingers which were about two inches long. Then he returns to the moment and says, "Limp." I can't tell you how stinkin' cute he is. "Marty" wants to be a police officer because he wants to help people. He wears a police baseball hat and T-shirt. I said, "You're looking nice in your police hat, Marty." He watches me walk by and then shouts, "And joo bjoo-tiful!"

I get to work with some of the most wonderful people ever and I could probably write an entire post on each one of them and how fascinating their lives are. Some have survived cancer, buried a child, triumphed over tragedy. You would never know it because they exude strength.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Disabilities and Psychology

I've been absent for almost a week. Work, physical therapy, children, sleep, more therapy, voice lessons, homework, piano know the routine. By the end of the day I feel my eyes are glazed over.

That kinda reminds me of something funny that happened at work. This light blue eyed, blonde, 30-ish man comes in and tells me he has changed banks and needs to give us the new routing numbers. I got the form and said, "Okay, if you can just fill out the highlighted parts we can get that taken care of for you." Then he said, "I can't fill it out, I'm visually impaired." Without thinking I say, "Okay. I can fill it out for you." Then I realize (and how can I forget after five weeks) I can't write very well with my left hand. Then I laugh thinking we were quite the pair. So I got another secretary to fill it out for him.

I learned a great new word from my SIL, Sheila. Rumination. I can't get that word out of my head now. (If you already know the definition of that word you will find that sentence somewhat humorous.) If you don't know the definition it means: "contemplation or reflection, which may become persistant and recurrent worrying or brooding." In other words, it means to chew on the same thought over and over.

It sounds a lot like "brain worms", which is when you can't get a song out of your head. I think I get those everyday. Everyday is a new song. That sounds like one of those quotes you put on your wall.....profound. (Go away, Martha!) Sometimes commercials or songs that I really don't want to think about enter my mind. Remember this song? My song recently has been that wonderful 80's song "Always Something There To Remind Me." I apologize now if it is now stuck in your head, too. "And I'll never be free, you'll always be a part of me - whoa whoa whoa." It just doesn't have the same effect when you read the words.

The amazing brain. When you're trying not to think about something why are there so many things to keep reminding you? Is this coincidence? Is it a sign? Is it the universe being cruel? The cure for rumination is distraction, do something to change your focus. With my luck, it will backfire and cause a Pavlov's dog effect. Just like I crave Chips Ahoy when I hear "Don't You Want Me Baby". The media is sending subliminal messages.

Mimi and I were in the car when Avril Lavine's song "Chill out, what ya yellin' for..." song came on. Mimi says, "That song reminds me of putting on make up in the car." Two summers ago Mimi, Ali, niece Sadie from NC and I drove to Yellowstone. We were listening to Avril Lavine's CD while Ali and Sadie put their make up on. Then Mimi said, "There's another song that you sing that reminds me of noodles." I don't dare ask.

So today's song was "Stayin' Alive" from the Bee Gees. We were getting the run down on CPR and Jan said you were supposed to compress the chest to that beat. So of course we start singing it. And there it is, still stuck in my head. Do you have any songs stuck in your head?

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Your Best Guess!

Nancy & Karen (Rocking Pony) if you send me your address I will send you a little somethin' somethin' for your lovely guesses! Email at

I love you. Actually I loved all the guesses. Now if they would quit ID-ing me everytime I buy spray paint......

Cast Away

Yea! I got my cast off today! Now it's off to the torture chamber aka physical therapy. I was told I'm not allowed to write for four more weeks. I've gotten pretty good with my left hand. I got an A+ in penmanship in 2nd grade and thought I would revert back to it. Maybe I will graduate to 3rd grade by the end of all of this.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Blame or Power?

First I have to say thanks to all those who commented on my sickly sweet Valentine's post. You've seen another side of me and I can't believe you're back. I'll try really hard to refrain from being too serious.

I'm the new girl at work. I've only been there for 4 1/2 months and still learning a lot. I try to make the others laugh and try to not take my job too seriously. So when I make a mistake, as embarrassing as it is, I try to make light of it. As one lady was showing me a mistake I made I said tongue in cheek, "I suck at that. You should fire me." Totally caught her off guard. She laughed and said, "I don't think so."

A man came into the office with some piece of mail (which I'm in charge of distributing) and questioned who's it was and why was it in his box. I chose the closest lady to him and said, "Linda told me if I didn't know what to do with the mail to just put it in your box." Lucky she's got a sense of humor and laughs and says, "I did not."

Then there was the mess with the paper shredder. When the janitor came in and asked about the mess I quickly say, "Cori did that." I have fun catching people off guard and blaming them for things that I obviously did.

Realistically, I accept things that I've done wrong. I don't make a whole lot of mistakes....uh hum.....but I own what I do. Have you ever been blamed wrongly for something? It totally sucks and hurts and as I got to deep thinking one day (it was for one day, but it passed) I realized: when someone blames you for something, they are giving you a lot of power. They are saying, "I have no power over this situation and it's because you did _____." I was feeling hurt and angry and felt like I was thrown under a train in a situation. I was blamed for the whole problem.....and I just recently realized - I was given the power. It's amazing how much power someone is willing to give you. I didn't know I had it! It almost makes me want to prod them just for fun.....I really shouldn't share thoughts like that, should I?

So I've gone from hurt to anger to power to peace to humor. I really didn't want blame or power (and I'm sure you don't either) but I guess if you have to choose one it's best to see it for what it really is. Meanwhile, I'll still keep blaming my innocent workmates for things I've done. At least they know I'm always kidding. Sheez! And next time you get all the blame, remember: You have the power!

I Get It - But I'm Just Shameless

I understand that people aren't as interested in my children as I am. I get it that people basically humor me by listening to me rave about my kids. Especially my fellow yellow, golden child, Ali. Those that know her know that she is a gem. I've referred to her as "my consolation prize", "a breath of fresh air", or "my blessing." I didn't say she's my favorite because I don't have one. I love each of my kids for the differences they have, but she has been my low maintenance child.

Today, she is a very sweet sixteen. Jared once said we shouldn't be proud of our children - because that's a display of pride. Rather we should be pleased with our children as God said about Jesus, "This is my beloved Son, in whom I'm well pleased." It's very difficult for me to be humble talking about Ali. I'm sure all you parents are the same about your kids.

Ali was born 13 days overdue 16 years ago today (or yesterday if you're in Australia). Yep. That's right. 13 days overdue. She was born in Brisbane at the Mater Miseracordiae Hospital or "mothers of mercy" in Latin and in Australian they say "motta hospital". She was the most beautiful baby ever to be born there so we gave her the name of a princess, Alexandra. Actually, we couldn't agree on a name and it took three days after her birth to name her.

I wanted to add some pictures, but they are buried in our guest room since we have had guests for about two weeks. The first was a fugitive who led the police on a high speed chase and now we have JR's cousin's son for just a few days. Such a nice lad. Back to Ali, she is having a party here with girlfriends only on Friday, so I will have to add pictures then.

For her birthday she got her driver's license. I don't know how she did it, but don't say I didn't warn you.

Saturday, February 14, 2009

To Love That Much

How would it be to have someone love you so much that they tell you you are beautiful every day? Or give you any material possession you ask for? How would it be to have someone love you so much they are willing to change their bad habits for you or give you a massage just because they like the feel of your skin? How would it be to have someone love you so much that when they give you another box of chocolates after you have just lost a significant amount of weight and you complain it will make you fat and they say, "I still loved you when you were fat. You're still beautiful." How would it be to have someone love you so much they are willing to wait for you to feel the same way? How would it be to have someone love you so much, they don't work as many hours as they used to because they realized work can't love you back and they want to be with you? Or if you are feeling depressed they understand now and constantly reassure your worth? How would it be to have someone love you so much that they thank you for having their children and if they could lasso the moon for you they would?

I guess I'm just lucky like that.