Lessons From Drama

So, I told you about my sucky letter that I got on Saturday. I was a bit emotional about that on the weekend but I'm good now. Just had to get it out of my system. I'm still a little bitter. I could spew out some sarcasm, I'm sure.

Saturday, as I sat at my desk and cried, my wonderful 17 year old daughter Ali walked in and asked me what was wrong. I told her I didn't even get an interview for the position at her school that I really wanted. I had told her about it before and she thought it would be cool if I got a job at her school. I told her they probably had someone in mind for the job already.

My precious daughter put her arms around me and said, "It's okay, Mom. In theater we learn that sometimes people are already picked out for parts. And even when you do your best and you try out for a part and you don't get it, it doesn't mean you weren't good enough. It just means the part was already given to someone else. There's nothing you could have done to change it. You're still a good actor and there will be other parts."

Really? Is she mine? How did I get a daughter so wonderful? My 19 year old son, Seth, came in and hugged me and said, "I love you, Mom." Mimi just came in and hugged me. My husband of course, said everything right and encouraged me. The dog reminded me that there was still ball to play and sometimes it gets stuck under the couch and you need someone to get it for you. There's a deep analogy there for you. My true friends have dived under the couch for me this week.

I'm feeling the pressure of improving my skills so I am not at the bottom of the totem pole but schooling is really taking a big bite out of my time. I love studying graphic design but it sure is hard having much energy for anything much after that. So I'm trying to decide if I need to cut to one day a week of school or what. That was another reason I was looking forward to having summers off, so I could fill in some more time with school. Well, I'll keep reading my fortune cookies and see what life has in store for me. Any advice?

Peeping/Pooping Toms

I work for a company that employs people with disabilities. We have a production area that some disabled adults work in. We refer to them as clients and even kids, because they are just like kids. Work is like a box of chocolates....you never know what you're gonna get. Sometimes I answer multiple phone calls from the same person in one day. Sometimes people call me for directions and they have to call multiple times from their cell phone as they are on their way. "I see that store, now where do I go?" Some of them we are scared of because they have a driver's license.

I needed to use the ladies room one day last week. I was the only one in the three stall loo and had just sat down when I heard the bathroom door open and close. Next thing I know there were two sneakers under my door. One of the clients had made their way to our side of the building and was peeking through my bathroom door. She turned and left as soon as she saw whatever it was she was looking for, or not. I thought of all the funny things I could have done, like yell at her to "get the hell out of here" or maybe moon her. Unprofessional that would have been. But funny. I told the supervisor in the back and she said she always does that. So I guess I'm not special.

My friend/coworker shared her experience with a client. The client was yelling that she needed a plastic bag as she was holding a wet paper bag. She was making quite a scene and yelling, "I need a plastic bag for my hairspray!" Kate told her she didn't have a plastic bag and maybe ask another worker. This settled her and she said she would ask someone else and would Kate hold her bag for her while she asked. Kate held the wet paper bag, which she discovered had an odor. A very yucky odor. It didn't smell like hairspray. When the client came back Kate asked, "What is in this bag? It stinks!" Client says, "Oh. That's my dirty underwear." Ew.

Then this very same week we had a client who has Down's Syndrome come to the window. This client always wears a baseball cap and never smiles. He said in his very slow, quiet voice, "I'm sorry to bother you."

"What do you need, Ross?" we asked him.

"I'm sorry to bother you." Big sigh. "Well," sigh, "I went to the bafroom," sigh, "A while ago," sigh, and then holds his hands level to his shoulders, "and it was this big." Sigh. "And my stomach hurts." Sigh. "I don't feel good." I'm thinking his intestines probably needed time to adjust to their new position in his gut. We didn't laugh while he was there. You're probably wondering what I said to that. It was something like this: "You'll probably start feeling better since you went to the bathroom." One of the other secretaries said, "Krista, if you don't want to help another person at that window today, we'll understand."

What a Wonderful World

Some of you have asked how do I do it all? Well, I am blessed with wonderful people in my life and I try to be a wonderful person back. Try being the key word. I've been working full-time for about a year and a half. I am surrounded by wonderful people there.

Before that I worked other little jobs and met many wonderful people and learned great things - even from the adorable kids I substituted for, or taught art to. And before that I was a full-time mom to three wonderful kids. And before that I was a wife to a wonderful man, who has become even more wonderful over the years.

Errrrrt! Now I'm a part-time mom, part-time wife, working full-time, going to school part-time and then there's that necessary fun on the weekend which makes me a part-time friend. People have said, "You might have to give up blogging." You know who said those kind of nasties? People who don't read my blog - or any blogs. They don't get it. They don't get the artistic outlet of blogging and how much your blog friends mean. Even though some of us haven't even met, I feel like you're my friend and I love reading about your families and funny thoughts, too. I may have to blog a little less, but heck! Blogging has led me to my new career path in graphic design.

So you may be wondering how I'm doing in my classes. I clept out of a basic computer knowledge class. I finished my next ten hour "module" in 7.5 hours and got a 92% on my test. I'm almost done with my second "module" of 30 hours in about 15 hours and will take that test this week. I wish I could learn faster because I want to do the fun stuff, like design and draw. I was really worried that I would have a hard time retaining information because I seriously can't remember what I had for dinner last night. But so far so good. I was a good student back in the day, but it's been 25 years. So wish me luck! My next class is Photoshop, so I'm so excited to get started on that! Maybe I'll post more pictures of myself when I learn how to erase a chin!

So the next part of my wonderful world is I went shopping yesterday at JC Penney and I got three pairs of pants and a shirt to wear to work, a hoodie, two shirts and some leggins for Mimi all for $42!!!! I also had a Tupperware Party that morning and made lunch for my friends and it turned out wonderful. Then we got together with some friends in the evening and watched "Nacho Libre." Now I have a wonderful headache! Anyway, have a wonderful day!

Happy Easter!

I dragged out an old photo of Mimi from Easter in 2006. She looks so innocently sweet. She has Brady in almost every photo we take of her, including our family Christmas portrait year before last. We had a very nice Easter at my step-family's house and had our traditional homemade Italian food - raviolis, gnocchis, Italian pizza (which is more like a quiche kind of thing) and lots of goodies. The littlies went on an Easter Egg hunt. It was nice to spend the day with family.

I had a headache most of the day and I laid in my bed with an icepack on my neck to try to relieve it (along with Excedrin, Klonapin and Jared massaging me) and my sweet little girl read a Junie B. Jones book to me while I had my eyes closed. It was the "Dumb Bunny" book. We both laughed at the funny parts. If you have never read any Junie B. Jones books, I highly recommend them. I read them when I substitued a first grade class and had to stop reading to laugh. They take about 20 minutes to read a whole book.

I don't know if I've mentioned I work full-time as a secretary and I'm now doing classes three nights a week going into graphic design. So far I'm enjoying it - lots to learn and gradually dusting the cobwebs out of my head. I haven't gotten to the fun stuff yet - just all the technical stuff explaining the broad range of career paths in multimedia.

I hope you had a very nice Easter!

30% Of Life

I walk by the boys bathroom and I hear a loud belch. I try not to giggle. Then there's the boy who is peeking around the wall and when he sees me he disappears behind it. Then there's the table of workers when a lone worker stands up quickly and rolls his fists around each other doing a disco move and sits back down unnoticed, but I noticed. And I laugh unnoticed because I'm not used to seeing people doing such random things. Well, in the real world anyway.

Then there was a girl who started a fight with another girl because she held the door open because she was new.......and didn't know who the boss of the door was. Another girl was reminded to give people their personal space.

Then there's this boy that asks me every time I see him if I like him......followed by "I'm going to watch you in that movie on Friday. This many times!" and holds up a couple of fingers. "You won't forget me now, will you?" He thinks I look like an old time western television star. I look nothing like her.....not even a little bit.

There's a girl walking down the hall with her arms folded and her bottom lip sticking out, pouting, and another who lets out a blood curdling scream because she is having a temper tantrum.

A boy came up to me and showed me his certificate that he earned for perfect attendance. Another boy showed me his certificate for "Employee of the Month." A girl told me she was absent yesterday because she was throwing up and had "dia-wee-ah."

It sounds like a typical day in kindergarten, but this is my workplace with adults with disabilities. I love it. So when I skip down the hall trying to make our HR Manager laugh, I just fit in.

File Moniter

That was as good as I could get with my job. I was trying to think of some name to glorify what I do. I bought Mall Cop this weekend so my eight year old could watch it when her friend slept over. I watched it with them and I really don't know what was funnier.......the movie or the forced laughter from the girls at the really stupid parts. They almost died laughing at the segway video the grandma posted on the computer. I didn't think it was that funny, but Mimi kept rewinding the DVD. Then at the parts I laughed at - the girls remained silent for a few seconds and must have thought, "Oh. We better laugh so it looks like we got it," followed by more forced laughter.

When is forced laughter a good thing? When it's your young one practising their sense of humor out and you really want to encourage it. When is it a bad thing? When it's your husband and it just wasn't that funny and you want to discourage it.

Friday at work I brought up to the three other secretaries I work with, "You know how we come in and all day long we're sayin', 'I'm sooo tired. I have nooo energy.' What if we come in and say the opposite? What if we said, 'I have soooo much energy! I can hardly sit still! I should have a trampoline pad for my chair seat because I just can't stay in my seat."' Maybe that would take effect on us. So during the day I would say loudly and enthusiastically, "I have so much energy!" Then around 3:00 I announced with a voice as slow as Ben Stein's and my eyes half closed, "I have sooo much energy. I don't know what to do with myself." I'm going to keep working on that one.

Forced funniness, affirmed energy, what else do we need to convince ourselves of? "I love having PMS, it defines who I really am." WHATEVER. Any favorite affirmations from you?

P.S. I had another phone call dream.....the anxiety build up before the call but it had a happy ending. Dreams can be so liberating.

Mimi's New Experience

Jared and Mimi brought me lunch at work today and ate with me. She talked everyone's ears off and I decided to take her out the back to meet some clients. Disabled people aren't totally new to her but this breed was.


I took her to a table to meet one of my favorite people. This was "Marty" whom I referred to in an earlier post. He has Down's Syndrome and the three other people at his table had DS, too. Mimi had her teddy bear, Brady, that goes everywhere with her so I had her show them Brady. I told Mimi that Marty wants to be a policeman and that's why he was wearing a police hat and shirt. Then he showed us his badge which was clipped on his belt. "Look!" he said excitedly.


As we left the work area Mimi said, "Are all those guys brothers?" I said no. "They look like they're brothers."

I explained with their disability they have some of the same traits, like their eyes. She said, "I like their voices because they sound like little kids. Does their disease make them nice, because they were all nice? What else does their disease do?" So I explained sometimes they think a little slower and even though they're grown ups they think like kids. When I saw her this afternoon she was still talking about how cute their voices were and how nice they were.

Okay, I know disease probably wasn't the right word, but I was explaining this to an eight year old. I was glad she got to meet some of my favorite people and they could meet her and Brady.

When Good Goes Bad

I've been contemplating whether I should write this post for a couple of reasons. One: I have no reason to complain. Two: It may seem arrogant. Three: Both topics are top secret. Please take it for what it is....embarrassing.

First: I've lost a significant amount of weight. I won't tell what my weight was or what I am now, but I went from a tight 14 to a loose 8. When people haven't seen me for awhile they are shocked. I didn't carry that amount of weight for long but long enough to do something about it. People ask me what my secret is. This is the bad part. I cringe when people ask me. I don't know how to answer that question. There was no secret. There's no pill. I'm not exercising my butt off. There's no diet plan. I'm not anorexic.

Why this is good gone bad? It's embarrassing to me because I don't have a great answer. I don't know if what I'm doing is healthy or not. I started off walking and weight training with Kevorki-Annie. Then I started work full-time and couldn't weight train with K.A. anymore because her night schedule was booked. I continued walking and when I took breaks at work I walked. Then I somehow lost my appetite. I know this is every woman's dream and it was mine. I started feeling nauseated and really had to force myself to eat. Since I wasn't hungry, I made wise choices. Then I came up with a philosophy: I'm not active at night and therefore I don't need the caloric intake. I eat my "large" meal at lunchtime and only have a snack or small meal at dinner. I haven't deprived myself of anything - treats, chocolate, etc.

It's a complicated answer and I hate explaining. It's a little embarrassing when people are shocked and make a fuss, but I'm happy to be 7 lbs under my goal weight and would like to lose another 7 and stop. I also am embarrassed because I got to the weight I did and you will never see before shots! Do I think others should be embarrassed of their weight? Absolutely not. But I feel I was very unhealthy and could see myself heading for onset Type 2 diabetes, heart disease or something else. My sweet husband says he liked me with more of a booty.

When good is bad again: (Co-workers, say nothing.) There is a sweet lady that works at my work who is going through a very rough time. She is so wonderful to the clients in spite of her personal life in shatters. I know she struggles financially in this bad time and I felt impressed to anonymously give her money. I put $20 in an envelope and put her name on it.

I am blessed and my income is extra - I only work for the health benefits. My husband is self-employed - need I explain about benefits. We're not rich but we live within our means, our needs and wants are taken care of and we don't have any debts except the mortgage. This sweet lady comes into our office and asked if we knew anything about the envelope given to her. The secretaries said no and asked why. She said, "Someone gave me a very generous gift and I wanted to thank them." Then her eyes filled with tears and she said if we find out tell them thank you for her.

Why this is bad? I should have given more. $20 is nothing and I should have dug deeper. Even though she was grateful - I feel bad that I didn't give more. The purpose of sharing this story is you may have the opportunity for service, so don't forget to dig deep.

Okay, so another freakin' serious post. I think I need to ban myself from blogging under the influence of melancholy. I'm still trying to channel my "Carol Burnett" and put away this "Socrates" (or is it actually Confusius - "He who stand on toilet is high on pot.")

30% of Life

I love my workplace. It's very inspirational. They train and employ disabled people to work in the community or the more disabled work in our facility. I don't work directly with the clients, but I do occasionally have to go to their side of the building for things. Sometimes, I wonder if I actually work for an asylum. Someone will let out a blood curdling scream - her way of letting the others know she is having a tantrum.

One lady who is probably close to 50 years old comes in the door swearing. She shouts, "So shut up you d*** b**** sh**!" I found that a little humorous because it was out of context, but I've felt like that before.

Then there is a man, probably 50+, with shaggy sideburns and has the mentality similar to a six year old, I'll call "Dee." Whenever he sees me he says the exact same thing almost word for word. "Hey! I'm gonna watch that movie on Friday. And you're in it. Really. You look just like her, same face and everything." I'm embarrassed to say who Dee thinks I look like, but I look nothing like her. Maybe it's because we both have blonde hair. Then he asks, "Do you like me?" I say, "Of course I do. You're one of my favorite people." Then he asks, "Do you love me?" "Sure I do," I say. Then Dee says, "Okay."

Dee sometimes has bad days and though he has the mind of a child, he has the strength of a man. I was warned that he can be violent at times. So he was talking to another secretary and I hear his voice escalate, "Oh yeah?! Well then I'm gonna..." (Crap! What do I do?) "throw a pie in your face." (Whew! Relief!)

When I go in the back, all the clients are interested in who I am. I stop and talk to a few of them. They liked my pink cast. This little cute man with Down's Syndrome who is as wide as he is tall shows me his ace bandage on his knee. It took a full minute for him to lift his pant leg up. I asked if he hurt it and he says, "No. It's..." He looks at his hand and stares at his fingers which were about two inches long. Then he returns to the moment and says, "Limp." I can't tell you how stinkin' cute he is. "Marty" wants to be a police officer because he wants to help people. He wears a police baseball hat and T-shirt. I said, "You're looking nice in your police hat, Marty." He watches me walk by and then shouts, "And joo bjoo-tiful!"

I get to work with some of the most wonderful people ever and I could probably write an entire post on each one of them and how fascinating their lives are. Some have survived cancer, buried a child, triumphed over tragedy. You would never know it because they exude strength.

Disabilities and Psychology

I've been absent for almost a week. Work, physical therapy, children, sleep, more therapy, voice lessons, homework, piano practice.....you know the routine. By the end of the day I feel my eyes are glazed over.

That kinda reminds me of something funny that happened at work. This light blue eyed, blonde, 30-ish man comes in and tells me he has changed banks and needs to give us the new routing numbers. I got the form and said, "Okay, if you can just fill out the highlighted parts we can get that taken care of for you." Then he said, "I can't fill it out, I'm visually impaired." Without thinking I say, "Okay. I can fill it out for you." Then I realize (and how can I forget after five weeks) I can't write very well with my left hand. Then I laugh thinking we were quite the pair. So I got another secretary to fill it out for him.

I learned a great new word from my SIL, Sheila. Rumination. I can't get that word out of my head now. (If you already know the definition of that word you will find that sentence somewhat humorous.) If you don't know the definition it means: "contemplation or reflection, which may become persistant and recurrent worrying or brooding." In other words, it means to chew on the same thought over and over.

It sounds a lot like "brain worms", which is when you can't get a song out of your head. I think I get those everyday. Everyday is a new song. That sounds like one of those quotes you put on your wall.....profound. (Go away, Martha!) Sometimes commercials or songs that I really don't want to think about enter my mind. Remember this song? My song recently has been that wonderful 80's song "Always Something There To Remind Me." I apologize now if it is now stuck in your head, too. "And I'll never be free, you'll always be a part of me - whoa whoa whoa." It just doesn't have the same effect when you read the words.


The amazing brain. When you're trying not to think about something why are there so many things to keep reminding you? Is this coincidence? Is it a sign? Is it the universe being cruel? The cure for rumination is distraction, do something to change your focus. With my luck, it will backfire and cause a Pavlov's dog effect. Just like I crave Chips Ahoy when I hear "Don't You Want Me Baby". The media is sending subliminal messages.

Mimi and I were in the car when Avril Lavine's song "Chill out, what ya yellin' for..." song came on. Mimi says, "That song reminds me of putting on make up in the car." Two summers ago Mimi, Ali, niece Sadie from NC and I drove to Yellowstone. We were listening to Avril Lavine's CD while Ali and Sadie put their make up on. Then Mimi said, "There's another song that you sing that reminds me of noodles." I don't dare ask.

So today's song was "Stayin' Alive" from the Bee Gees. We were getting the run down on CPR and Jan said you were supposed to compress the chest to that beat. So of course we start singing it. And there it is, still stuck in my head. Do you have any songs stuck in your head?

Blonde is as Blonde Does

I should have stayed in bed today. I arrived at work and had a meeting first thing. They discussed rotating "late" days until after my surgery. I'm supposed to be the last to leave so I always tease that I need a babysitter for the last half hour our office is open. I always ask, "Who's babysitting me today?" So they kept talking about "Krista's surgery" as if I wasn't there, kinda. "When is Krista's surgery?" "When does she come back after her surgery?" "How long is Krista going to be gone after her surgery?" It sounded kind of weird to me so I announce, "Now, you know you have to call me Kristopher after my surgery, right?" By the way, I'm having surgery on my hand on Jan. 21st.

I discovered later in the day I forgot to put deodorant on. Thank goodness it's the middle of winter!

I kept pushing the on/off button to make the laminator go forward and it wouldn't work. I finally realized that I was pushing the heat button.

When I printed my flyer it came out in four pieces. I didn't know you had to choose the paper size in that program.

My stomach was feeling queasy this morning so I got a Diet Coke and accidentally burped in front of one of my co-workers. I could have rivaled my son.

I thought today was Wednesday until I was informed at about 3:00 that tomorrow is Friday.

Did I mention the deodorant thing?

Good-bye Lady of Leisure

When Mimi was going from kindergarten to first grade she thought she would be so much more grown up. She said, "Now that I'm going to be bigger, I'll have to be called Amelia instead of Mimi." Then with a tone of melancholy she said, "Good-bye Mimi self." Often we have to say good-bye to certain stages of our lives. Good-bye Dr. Phil. Good-bye Oprah. Good-bye social life. Good-bye Lady of Leisure (for the whole 3 1/2 months I held that title.)

I'm a working woman now. I was meant to have this job. I thought, "If I get a job, great. If I don't I'm going to take a course at DATC." I got a great job with awesome benefits, great hours and wonderful people to work with. I am a secretary/receptionist for PARC which is Pioneer Adult Rehabilitation Center. They train adults with disabilities to work in the workforce. This helps disabled adults to get off of social security or disability pay and also helps them to feel like they are contributing to society. I make about 5 cents per hour more than they do! Just kidding....kinda.

This is a big step out of my comfort zone. I've always felt a little uncomfortable around some disabled adults. I would even go as far as saying I was a little scared of them. After viewing some records, I still have a healthy fear for a reason, but I have become a lot more comfortable with others. This is good for me.

Home life has changed. Duties have become shifted. Meals have become quick. Tonight Mimi prayed to "bless the food that no harm shall fall upon us." Maybe the prayer should be a quick and painless death. Maybe I could choke on a piece of cheesecake and they can write, "She died doing what she loved the most." Okay.....maybe not. That is a topic for a whole new blog. You know I hate it when people say that. Death by cheesecake would be nice, though. There are worse ways to go. If I die by a freak house cleaning accident do not say I died doing what I loved the most. It would be a long, torturous death by all means.