Halloween Leftovers

Does anyone else have leftover goodies from Halloween? Notice there's never any leftover chocolate? I only have one official Trick-or-Treater now. This is Mimi the Diva. In other words she dressed as herself this year. It's all about me, me, me! It's hard being the baby of the family.
We had a little party at Randy and Kari's house. I loved the metallic bronze eyelashes that were discarded halfway through the night. I'm sure the reflected light had something to do with that. And, yes, they are as fun as they look.

We laughed and laughed and laughed. We laughed so hard our cheeks hurt, our sides hurt, our heads hurt, we were coughing, sputtering, hooting, howling, crying, snorting, breaking chairs, nearly wetting ourselves, and almost passing out from the lack of oxygen! Our kids were begging us to stop! And that, folks, is not an exaggeration. We were drunk on laughter. This is Ricky and Dianne.

This is me and my dear husband, Jared, smiling like the Cheshire Cat. I also dressed as myself this year. I already have next year's costumes planned.

The kids need leftover candy so we can steal it to give us energy for the Christmas shopping the next day. Did you hear they were trying to change Black Friday? (Linked up for my foreign friends that might not know what that is, since you totally miss out on Thanksgiving altogether.) I don't shop early on Black Friday. I don't like to see the ugly side of people. I think it's a taste of what it will be like when/if we have a world economic collapse.

So....coming up - my daughter Ali is performing in her high school musical - Opening Night Tuesday night, Nov 16th. She is Sandy in "Grease". It was meant to be her part - she was BORN in Australia, you know! She was speaking Australian up until she was three and a half. Seth spoke with an accent until he was about six. People would ask him how old he was and he would answer, "Fahv and a Hawf." I'll try to post some more in the next few days. Lots happening!

Spooky Stuff

First, I'll start with a horrific story. I ran into an old classmate at a high school get-together. Some losers never change. He was drunk and obnoxious and he even tried to sexually harass me. I was seriously traumatized.

I've been decorating for the season. This is my new favorite decoration. I got it at Just A Bed Of Roses. It's the funnest store ever!

I made this lovely creation for a family get together. It was a big hit.

Dumpster Cake

3/4 cup heavy cream

1 1/3 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips

1 tsp. pure vanilla

Heat cream until boiling, stirring constantly. Pour over chocolate chips. Stir until completely melted and add vanilla. Put in the refrigerator for about 30 minutes.

1 Chocolate Cake mix

Follow directions on the box and put mix in a bundt pan. Drop spoonfuls of the chocolate chip mixture in the batter - reserving 1/4 cup. This will create a "lava" filling. Bake according to directions. Remove from pan immediately (flip onto a serving platter).

1 large vanilla instant pudding mix

1 small chocolate instant pudding mix

Green food coloring

Make up puddings. Add green coloring to half of the vanilla pudding. When cake is cool drizzle puddings and reserved chocolate (reheated) and decorate with gummy worms, candy corns, Reese's pieces and anything else you like - that will look gross. (Gummy Rats, Body parts, etc.)

BEWARE! It is very yummy!

Mother's Day

I know some of you are wondering what happened at my house for Mother's Day. Did my kids acknowledge me? Will there be Christmas this year? You remembered what happened at my birthday!

Mimi was the first awake. She was cranky as she always is in the morning. She handed me a Toblerone candy bar and says begrudgingly, "This is what Dad bought for me to give you, 'cause he wouldn't take me shopping to get you a present." Then she handed me two cards and still in her grumpy tone she said, "I made this one in Primary and I made this one in school. Dad wouldn't take me shopping."

Then Ali came up and handed me a store bag from the store she works at and inside were some earrings and a necklace. She hugged me and told me Happy Mother's Day. She got me some ice in a bag because my eye was all swollen and I had a big bag under it.

Seth gave me a metal rose that was handcrafted. He also wrote me a beautiful letter. He said in one part, "I've been thinking about all the favorite memories I have with you but I've literally been thinking for half an hour because there are so many....just a few of them though are - when I was a kid you taught me songs like "Gallump said the little green frog" and "How much is that doggie in the window." When I remember them it's your voice that sings them still." Is that so sweet? I use to sing a lot with the kids.

So, I guess Santa will come this year. I was going to give Jared the budget and let him do everything if the kids forgot me. I hope all of you had a great Mother's Day.

Happy Easter!

I dragged out an old photo of Mimi from Easter in 2006. She looks so innocently sweet. She has Brady in almost every photo we take of her, including our family Christmas portrait year before last. We had a very nice Easter at my step-family's house and had our traditional homemade Italian food - raviolis, gnocchis, Italian pizza (which is more like a quiche kind of thing) and lots of goodies. The littlies went on an Easter Egg hunt. It was nice to spend the day with family.

I had a headache most of the day and I laid in my bed with an icepack on my neck to try to relieve it (along with Excedrin, Klonapin and Jared massaging me) and my sweet little girl read a Junie B. Jones book to me while I had my eyes closed. It was the "Dumb Bunny" book. We both laughed at the funny parts. If you have never read any Junie B. Jones books, I highly recommend them. I read them when I substitued a first grade class and had to stop reading to laugh. They take about 20 minutes to read a whole book.

I don't know if I've mentioned I work full-time as a secretary and I'm now doing classes three nights a week going into graphic design. So far I'm enjoying it - lots to learn and gradually dusting the cobwebs out of my head. I haven't gotten to the fun stuff yet - just all the technical stuff explaining the broad range of career paths in multimedia.

I hope you had a very nice Easter!

Hoppin' Down the Bunny Trail

"I'm gonna write the Easter Bunny a note and ask him if he'll put our names on our eggs and hide them so we can find them," Mimi says excitedly today.

"Wait a minute. I thought you didn't believe in the Easter Bunny," I remind her.

"No. That was just Santa Claus. Because I found my notes in your cabinet and those painted pieces of wood in Dad's closet," she reminds me. "Plus we don't have a chimney."

I remember blatantly a few weeks ago she announced she knew I was the Easter Bunny. And I said, "Yep." So is she having "Believer's Remorse"? Is she retracting her disbelief? Has she already had too much candy from the Easter Egg hunt on Saturday to remember she is a disbeliever now? Maybe I should get it in writing next time. "I, Mimi, no longer believe in Santa Claus, Easter Bunny or the Tooth Fairy. Therefore, you (the parents, er, uh, Mom) are no longer obliged to provide gifts, chocolate and money from this day forward."

Remember? I was taking this day off. I was going to leave rabbit turds (chocolate covered raisins) instead. Well, she did make me a birthday card. She did make me a "get well" card when I was sick. She also made me a watercolor picture of a rainbow and then got mad at me and got a marker and wrote "To Daddy" on it. So maybe she's the only one who deserves a little treat from the Bunny.

It reminds me of a time I bribed my kids to be good while we ran an errand and I would take them to get an ice-cream afterward. Well, they were little ..... brats..... and I told them that just because they were brats didn't mean I couldn't have a treat. So I bought myself an ice-cream cone and ate it right in front of them. I'm giggling to myself as I think about it because I was so fuming mad with them I'm surprised the ice-cream didn't melt from the steam coming out of my ears. So I pretended to enjoy that ice-cream cone as I ate my frustrations. Bahaha!

So, any suggestions? Remember, I have the 17 and 19 year olds that didn't acknowledge my birthday. I'm trying to be strong. Maybe there should be a movie "The Year Without the Easter Bunny." Maybe I could tell them Mother's Day will be a predetermination for Christmas. I feel so mean! I could always just put Jared in charge. I have this small fear he would make me look bad, you know, that he might spend more than usual and have this feast of holiday favorites. But then I think about how he takes over cooking dinners sometimes and the kids complain that it's not like mom's. Wishful thinking.

Dear Freakin' Easter Bunny, I'm Resigning

Dear Freakin' Easter Bunny,

I am done. I am finished with shopping for tooth rotting candy and useless trinkets for cutesy baskets that don't get appreciated anyway. Point in case:

When Mimi was three she came down stairs on Easter Sunday to get ready for church. She sat down at our counter on the bar stool and with her usual morning grumpiness she barely glanced at her Easter basket. But it was there. In front of her. There was a darling little sequin purse in the shape of a cute little bunny. She grabbed the purse and flung it over her shoulder as hard as she could, surprised she didn't fall off the bar stool. "I already gotta purse," she sputtered.

She looked at her basket, still scowling and grabbed the cute little stuffed animal puppy and sent that flying over her shoulder. "I already gotta puppy," she spewed.

Her older siblings looked at her in horror. It was like a bad Disney movie where the spoiled princess doesn't appreciate anything.

When you thought there was nothing else to say she says disgustedly, "Candy, candy, candy! There's too much candy!" It's amazing how a child that looks like a cherub could spew such utterings.

After getting some breakfast into her and she had time to wake up, she put her bunny purse over her shoulder and carried her puppy and a stash of candy to church.

But here's my complaint, Mr. Easter Bunny. I'm tired of shopping for just the right treats to make sure my children have their favorites. I really don't like getting Easter Egg dye on my fingers. My creativity has run out for little trinkets and sometimes money left in plastic Easter Eggs. And for what? A few minutes of gratification and some stupid imaginary rabbit who stops procreating for a night to drop off goodies to good girls and boys to get the credit of my hard labors.

I admit I have enjoyed using your yearly visit as a leveraging point for good behavior. But I'm going to break it to my nine year old, my seventeen year old and my nineteen year old this year there is no such thing as a carrot eating, egg packing, chocolate hoarding rabbit that comes to our house. The only thing rabbits leave are droppings - little chocolate covered raisin looking droppings.

By the way, the tooth fairy and Santa Claus will be receiving similar letters. Because it's not that they are in reality your parents - they are ME! All ME! Dad has nothing to do with it. He is always surprised on Christmas morning, too! And a fat man in a red suit gets the credit!

So I hereby resign as you. "Why?" you ask. Because you just had a birthday and my kids couldn't take the time to make a sentiment for all you do for them. But I will cherish my Santa letters, and tooth fairy letters with tiny little replies because the tooth fairy is so tiny and writes tiny.

It's not that I feel unappreciated, that I work full time now after being a stay at home mom for years so I can provide health insurance for my family. I still try to keep the house clean and bills paid and attempt to open a can or frozen dinner for them. Life has changed. So I'm going to give myself my own *&%@ presents and make myself feel special for one *&%@ day! So when they find out the Easter Bunny is not real - they are on their own. I'm leaving chocolate covered raisins.

HAPPY AUSTRALIA DAY, MATES!!!

And Happy Birthday to Princess Natalie! Now go and throw a shrimp on the barbie! BTW, they don't say that in Oz. A prawn or a burger maybe...

Happy 2009!

I had a busy few days between working and preparing for our annual New Year's Party and getting sick again. I went to the Dr. yesterday and will go again tomorrow to an ENT. I was feeling much better by the time our party started. We had loads and loads of decadent food, great fun with friends singing karaoke and playing "Would You Rather...?" This was a new game we hadn't played before and was surprised by a couple of questions. But we laughed and went on until we brought in the new year.

Our last guests (two couples and a friend who's husband is out of town) left at 3:30 AM. Yes, we are all too old for that!!! But as Jared said, "It's only once a year."

Many good things happened for our family in 2008. There were also trials, that were few but tough. I'm sure that is the same with all of you, so I'm wishing you a better, happier 2009! That's all we can hope for is this year to be even better than the last! I hope you receive many blessings and few trials!

HAPPY BOXING DAY!!!

Sorry....I got so busy the last couple of days I didn't even wish everyone a Merry Christmas like I planned (except everyone that got cards, form letters and talked to us.)



Ha! Ha! Ha! Merry Christmas!!!



On Christmas Eve, as I was backing out of the driveway, I noticed this strange wicker chair just in the alcove of our front doorway. I thought, What is that chair doing near the front door? So I called from my cell phone and asked the family if they knew anything about it. No one did. "JON AND ANNIE!!!" Nothing like catching us off guard at Christmas time for a nice practical joke. I will be returning the chair after I paint it bright pink. It will go well with the flamingos I left them last year! (Or was that the year I did Memorial Day wreaths?) What kind of nice Christmas décor can I pick up for 90% off?



We always get together with my step-family for Christmas Eve dinner for Italian food with recipes have been passed down from generation to generation. Most of my friends know I don't do pasta. It's not that I don't like it......it doesn't like me. There was fish and plenty of other food. Jared had to make my traditional "English toffee" this year due to my hand problem.



Christmas day:



Littlest Pet Shop kept Mimi occupied for the rest of the day! The rest of us were like zombies opening our gifts because it was almost 9:00 AM, afterall. We had a fun day that ended with my brother and his family and my mom and stepdad over for dinner. It was a very white Christmas with a blizzard that left the roads snow packed for shopping today!

Bye Bye Barbie

Adios Legos.

Ali loved Barbies. I described her bedroom once as "Barbie Hell." My Mimi breaks my heart because she doesn't have the same love. She likes "Littlest Pet Shop" stuff. Time to file the Barbie chapter away in my life. It's going to be painful. All the beautiful clothes, shoes and accessories!

Seth loved Legos. We invested a small fortune in Legos. He loved the pirates and the knights and so did I. You may think it would be his father that would be the one to love putting them together, seeing as he's an engineer and all. Nope. It was me who loved reading the instructions and putting all the castles and ships together. I was sad when Seth was too old for the Safari Legos when they came out. I packed up the Legos a long time ago - but we're saving them because I'm sure they will appreciate in value.

Littlest Pet Shop. No clothes, shoes and accessories. Just a tiny dog bowl and fake dog doo doo. Yep. One of the little dogs has a fake feces. Nothing like pretending to clean up puppy poop. They obviously didn't design these things with moms in mind. By the time they're old enough to own toys that tiny - you're sick of poop!

"My Favorite Ornament" Tag

My friend, Christina, tagged me several days ago and I'm finally getting around to doing it! I really don't have one favorite ornament, but this is one that I bought in England when I was on a mission. It reminds me of very cold times when we wore nylons, leggins and leg warmers to keep warm. This particular ornament I bought at Harrod's. How we ever found our way out of that place, I'll never know! Anyone who's been there knows what I'm talking about!

There are many ornaments that remind me of great times, some I've had since I was a kid, one my best friend when I was 14 gave me, some the kids have made. I used to think all the ornaments should have a theme and look like the ones in the department stores. That is the artist in me, but now I like it however Mimi likes to decorate it! She's the only one who would do any decorating. It's nice still having someone little to keep us in the spirit of Christmas, the magic of Santa and the excitement of traditions.

I will tag my SIL, Diane.

The Bi-Polar Express

'Tis the season to go crazy...fa la la la la, la la la la. I've seen it first hand. I was at Mervyns the other day and this little boy, who was about three, had a major mental meltdown. He had had enough and was making a big scene sobbing very loudly. A few people looked at him and smiled - except one little girl who stood there in amazement, like she was watching a freak show. He looked at her and through his sobs he shouts, "GO AWAY....(gasp)....PRETTY DRESSER!"

Then there is Mimi. The night I brought up the Christmas decor from the basement she had an absolute meltdown until I finally said, "We'll leave all this out and you can decorate tomorrow when you're not so tired." "I'M NOT TIRED!!!" she screams as she's crying.

Then yesterday as she was complaining about everything, including the molecules that surrounded her, she finally says in frustration, "AND - I didn't get any cuddles today!" I said, "Yes you did. I gave you some cuddles today." She says in her same frustration, "Yeah, but only about five or six!" I said, "Do you need more?" She puts down her guard and says, "Uh-huh." That was one problem easily solved. I wish they were all that easy.

Up. Down. Up. Down. Happy. Sad. Love. Hate. Laughter. Tears. What happened to September, when the weather was perfect, the kids were back to school and all was well? How many shopping days until Christmas?! ONE!!! I'll be at the mall on Christmas Eve getting everything in one trip! So if you're feeling a little bi-polar, join the club.

Rated Aaaaaargh!

Ahoy there, Mateys! Did you know yesterday was "International Talk Like a Pirate" Day? Shiver me timbers! Just when you thought you heard it all! First, National Underwear Day and now we be havin' to listen to a bunch of scallywags puttin' on terrible, awful accents! That's all I'll say about "Talk Like a Pirate Day" - I'll be sure to mark my calendar for next year! The history of the day is pretty fun if you click on the link. I could invent a few "days" myself.

This wench could shout "aaaaaargh" for me own reasons! (Help! I can't stop talking like a pirate!) Me computer keeps kickin' me off the Internet! That's a good 'ol pirate word, Internet! I could go all sorts of places with that one, but I'll spare you from the torture.

So here's your question: What "day" would you like recognized?

Happy Underwear Day!

Today on our local morning show they said a new Operation Game came out to celebrate National Underwear Day. "Cavity Sam" is sporting a new pair of boxers and has a few new ailments, one being "Phone Finger" and something about a "Blast Zone" which is where gas is passed. It's not called "Blast Zone" but something about toxic gas. That is something I would not try to remove on purpose, because I have two males in the house that are frequently releasing their own toxic gas on a regular basis. In fact my friend was talking about how boys always leave skiddies in their underwear and they never grow out of it. I agree! Which is why I don't do my son's laundry anymore.

Which brings us back to the "unmentionables" that are now broadcast everywhere. I looked up National Underwear Day and I realized we really don't appreciate what we have. They don't have underwear in some countries. They wear loinclothes or gourds (well, the men anyway) and they don't have the choice to wear briefs, boxers or tighty whities!

The beginning of underwear appreciation came when Calvin Klein erected a giant billboard in New York Times Square sporting a muscular man in nothing but briefs. People have been exposing their knickers ever since.

In the last couple of years my son would bring his friends over and each of them would be exposing their boxers at the top of their jeans. I would tease them saying, "I can see your underwear!" or "I see wedgie bait!" or "I see London, I see France, I see Brendon's underpants." Then they would hike up their jeans. I thought I would play a little joke on them and I bought myself a pair of LOUD boxers from Old Navy that had Hawaiian flowers all over them. I put them on under my jeans leaving the top exposed. I walked into my living room, pretending to drop something saying loudly, "Oooops! I dropped something" making sure I had all of their attention and I bent over to pick it up and exposed my new lovely boxers. It was great to see the faces of horrified teenage boys! I think they thought it was gross.

Celebrate National Underwear Day this coming Aug. 5. Treat yourself to a new pair of undies - a thong, boy pants, bikinis, granny panties, boxers or briefs. Show them off to everyone you know - be proud of your panties! Okay, not really. I'm a very modest person who thinks National Underwear Day is a crock. Now...National Bra Day.....that would be uplifting.