Sunday, March 1, 2009

When Good Goes Bad

I've been contemplating whether I should write this post for a couple of reasons. One: I have no reason to complain. Two: It may seem arrogant. Three: Both topics are top secret. Please take it for what it is....embarrassing.

First: I've lost a significant amount of weight. I won't tell what my weight was or what I am now, but I went from a tight 14 to a loose 8. When people haven't seen me for awhile they are shocked. I didn't carry that amount of weight for long but long enough to do something about it. People ask me what my secret is. This is the bad part. I cringe when people ask me. I don't know how to answer that question. There was no secret. There's no pill. I'm not exercising my butt off. There's no diet plan. I'm not anorexic.

Why this is good gone bad? It's embarrassing to me because I don't have a great answer. I don't know if what I'm doing is healthy or not. I started off walking and weight training with Kevorki-Annie. Then I started work full-time and couldn't weight train with K.A. anymore because her night schedule was booked. I continued walking and when I took breaks at work I walked. Then I somehow lost my appetite. I know this is every woman's dream and it was mine. I started feeling nauseated and really had to force myself to eat. Since I wasn't hungry, I made wise choices. Then I came up with a philosophy: I'm not active at night and therefore I don't need the caloric intake. I eat my "large" meal at lunchtime and only have a snack or small meal at dinner. I haven't deprived myself of anything - treats, chocolate, etc.

It's a complicated answer and I hate explaining. It's a little embarrassing when people are shocked and make a fuss, but I'm happy to be 7 lbs under my goal weight and would like to lose another 7 and stop. I also am embarrassed because I got to the weight I did and you will never see before shots! Do I think others should be embarrassed of their weight? Absolutely not. But I feel I was very unhealthy and could see myself heading for onset Type 2 diabetes, heart disease or something else. My sweet husband says he liked me with more of a booty.

When good is bad again: (Co-workers, say nothing.) There is a sweet lady that works at my work who is going through a very rough time. She is so wonderful to the clients in spite of her personal life in shatters. I know she struggles financially in this bad time and I felt impressed to anonymously give her money. I put $20 in an envelope and put her name on it.

I am blessed and my income is extra - I only work for the health benefits. My husband is self-employed - need I explain about benefits. We're not rich but we live within our means, our needs and wants are taken care of and we don't have any debts except the mortgage. This sweet lady comes into our office and asked if we knew anything about the envelope given to her. The secretaries said no and asked why. She said, "Someone gave me a very generous gift and I wanted to thank them." Then her eyes filled with tears and she said if we find out tell them thank you for her.

Why this is bad? I should have given more. $20 is nothing and I should have dug deeper. Even though she was grateful - I feel bad that I didn't give more. The purpose of sharing this story is you may have the opportunity for service, so don't forget to dig deep.

Okay, so another freakin' serious post. I think I need to ban myself from blogging under the influence of melancholy. I'm still trying to channel my "Carol Burnett" and put away this "Socrates" (or is it actually Confusius - "He who stand on toilet is high on pot.")


Karen said...

That's awesome! All of it. Congrats on the weight loss, and kudos for reaching out. You have a kind heart.

Nancy said...

Oh, I always think the exact same thing -- that people think "BOR-ING" when I wax serious, but people like to see all sides of a "poster" like you. I enjoy your serious too. Speaking of, what happened to posts on your other blog??

Don't be embarrassed about the whole weight thing! I like for people to just be open about whatever and you strike me as just such a person. Sorry about stomach pain though. You know I can relate - - only not to the losing weight part (and I am 25 pounds off where I should be). But kudos to you!!

Flea said...

It sounds like you lost weight the right way. There's nothing embarrassing about that. Most people are looking for some big secret way to lose quickly, which only means it will come back and bring friends. You're doing it right is all. Good for you!

I know exactly what you mean about the books. :)

Gil said...

My ideal weight is approximately that of a subcompact car ... which I have almost achieved! Does anybody else remember the Yugo?

Karen said...

See, you have comments and you were serious. It is OK to blog under the influence of melancholy!

Krista said...

Thanks, Karen, but I'm much more fun when I'm my normal weird self!