Friday, January 30, 2009

Freakin' Friday or Left Alone

Today was my first day out. Since last Wednesday I've been home alone, recuperating, sleeping, Sudoku with my left hand, taking pain killers, sleeping, reading blogs, belting out karaoke, naked yoga, watching Dr. Phil & Oprah, being bored, watching "American Justice," "Forensic Files" and other shows that shake any security I may have felt. I was just kidding about the yoga - but I was naked!!! In the shower.

I've become really good with my left hand but there are still quite a few inconveniences. I can't drive - Dr.'s orders. So I had Ali drive today. I was wishin' I had some pain killers. I swear we were on two wheels going around most corners. When she would stop the car, there was no slowing down beforehand. I think I actually screamed once. Then a car cut Ali off as she was coming to a stop. The driver was laughing and flipped us off. It was really upsetting her and I said, "Don't let it get to you. There's lots of jerks out there." She asked, "You mean people do this all the time?" "Yep." There's another thing for me to worry about, some psycho with road rage injuring my daughter. One thing I miss about being in Australia is "damn" and "hell" aren't swear words. One ride with Ali and I'm going to Hell.

Because it's such an effort to go to the bathroom, I leave it til the last minute. I was slightly short of crying when the only women's restroom of the store was closed and "Out of Order." In desperation I asked my mom to watch the door of the men's restroom so I could use it. I knocked, held my breath and went in. It was surprisingly clean. There was no graffiti on the walls. Shocking. But I figure most men don't shop at Stein Mart. If it were a gas station I'm sure it would be a different story. Cleanliness can be deceiving and I wasn't taking my chances. I was proud that I could hover over the toilet the whole time the flood gates were opened. That may sound like a gross exaggeration but remember, I left it til the last minute. I used an Asian bathroom in Thailand and after I experienced squatting in a stall with no doors (please don't think too hard about that) because none of the stalls have doors, they told me the Western toilets were on the other side. Who knew I would need those skills five years later in the men's room?

I'm getting faster at typing with one hand. I haven't perfected my handwriting but I think I've gone from first grade to second grade in two weeks. It hasn't stopped me from doing about 60 Sudoku puzzles. I'm addicted!

They say geniuses are never bored.


Chaotic Di said...

My dear friend! You have done well with your free time, my young padawan! Sudoku keeps the mind alive! I suggest we form a sudoku club and go out clubbing on Friday nights!

You still make me jealous with your new cute little sexy body!

Its Time to Live said...

Get Better! and perhaps too much information :) jest kidding.

Karen said...

You are a genius!! Poor Ali, finding out that most of Utah drives like maniacs. I can hardly believe you are back to working next week. What a bummer my grandma kicked the can or I could have come over and pretended to play "beauty shop" on your cute little head. I would have even brought the blue eyeshadow and the hooker red lippy. :)