Two Tonsillectomies

Have you ever been with someone that isn't very talkative? Do you feel the need to fill in for the lack of conversation and start talking incessantly and next thing you know you've told them your life story? Then you find yourself lying there on the floor in fetal position under the coffee table with your bishop's phone number on speed dial and you feel really stupid because this person knows everything about you and you know nothing about them? Me neither.


You may have noticed I haven't been around much since November. Well, without going into details that would even cause a maggot to barf let's just say I have had some issues. With my throat. The Mayor of Whoville and I have something in common, besides the fact that we're both Republican.He boasted that he had 2 tonsillectomies. In November, I had my second tonsillectomy as an adult. The first one was about 8 years ago. I knew what was coming. I knew just how bad it was going to be. I knew better than to try to eat Spagettios. I didn't know I would be struggling three months later with voice complications. I have spent six weeks out of the last three months with no voice. I see trying to communicate with people other than verbally a complication. Some see it as a blessing. Smart @$$es.

I clap my hands or whistle to get people's attention. I have to play Charades and try to get people to understand what I'm saying. I feel like an idiot. A frustrated idiot. So, I'm going to start using a dice with sayings on it so people don't have to guess what I'm saying. Since there are six sides I will only have six sayings. Of course, there are the two obvious answers, "yes" and "no". For crutial answers that need to be answered verbally, side 3 will read: "Read My Lips" also known as "I can't remember".

Side 4: "Whatever" or "Crickets Chirping" or "I did not inhale."

Side 5: "That doesn't even deserve an answer" or "Come a little closer so I can slap you."

Sides 6: "I heard you, I'm just ignoring you."

I have a lot to catch you up on, and since I'm spending much less time on the phone and giving public speeches I should have more time now.

Halloween Leftovers

Does anyone else have leftover goodies from Halloween? Notice there's never any leftover chocolate? I only have one official Trick-or-Treater now. This is Mimi the Diva. In other words she dressed as herself this year. It's all about me, me, me! It's hard being the baby of the family.
We had a little party at Randy and Kari's house. I loved the metallic bronze eyelashes that were discarded halfway through the night. I'm sure the reflected light had something to do with that. And, yes, they are as fun as they look.

We laughed and laughed and laughed. We laughed so hard our cheeks hurt, our sides hurt, our heads hurt, we were coughing, sputtering, hooting, howling, crying, snorting, breaking chairs, nearly wetting ourselves, and almost passing out from the lack of oxygen! Our kids were begging us to stop! And that, folks, is not an exaggeration. We were drunk on laughter. This is Ricky and Dianne.

This is me and my dear husband, Jared, smiling like the Cheshire Cat. I also dressed as myself this year. I already have next year's costumes planned.

The kids need leftover candy so we can steal it to give us energy for the Christmas shopping the next day. Did you hear they were trying to change Black Friday? (Linked up for my foreign friends that might not know what that is, since you totally miss out on Thanksgiving altogether.) I don't shop early on Black Friday. I don't like to see the ugly side of people. I think it's a taste of what it will be like when/if we have a world economic collapse.

So....coming up - my daughter Ali is performing in her high school musical - Opening Night Tuesday night, Nov 16th. She is Sandy in "Grease". It was meant to be her part - she was BORN in Australia, you know! She was speaking Australian up until she was three and a half. Seth spoke with an accent until he was about six. People would ask him how old he was and he would answer, "Fahv and a Hawf." I'll try to post some more in the next few days. Lots happening!

Spooky Stuff

First, I'll start with a horrific story. I ran into an old classmate at a high school get-together. Some losers never change. He was drunk and obnoxious and he even tried to sexually harass me. I was seriously traumatized.

I've been decorating for the season. This is my new favorite decoration. I got it at Just A Bed Of Roses. It's the funnest store ever!

I made this lovely creation for a family get together. It was a big hit.

Dumpster Cake

3/4 cup heavy cream

1 1/3 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips

1 tsp. pure vanilla

Heat cream until boiling, stirring constantly. Pour over chocolate chips. Stir until completely melted and add vanilla. Put in the refrigerator for about 30 minutes.

1 Chocolate Cake mix

Follow directions on the box and put mix in a bundt pan. Drop spoonfuls of the chocolate chip mixture in the batter - reserving 1/4 cup. This will create a "lava" filling. Bake according to directions. Remove from pan immediately (flip onto a serving platter).

1 large vanilla instant pudding mix

1 small chocolate instant pudding mix

Green food coloring

Make up puddings. Add green coloring to half of the vanilla pudding. When cake is cool drizzle puddings and reserved chocolate (reheated) and decorate with gummy worms, candy corns, Reese's pieces and anything else you like - that will look gross. (Gummy Rats, Body parts, etc.)

BEWARE! It is very yummy!

Getting Back to "Normal"

I'm waiting for my life to get back to normal. I've had another absence again, but with good reason. My dear step dad passed away on September 17th. Art has been my step dad for 25 years. Even when a person is considered elderly, even when their health is failing, I still don't think you are ready for it. He was "terrible good" until the end.

The Patriot Guard Riders escorted us to the cemetery on their motorcycles and saluted Art, an army veteran and a Harley Davidson rider when he could ride. They made a path to his final resting place, while his grandsons carried him in the casket he made himself.

There's a lot of deep thinking when someone close to you passes away. It's as if everything has paused for you but life is still running in fast motion for everyone else. You contemplate what is really important and realize there are many things that force you to lose focus on them - like work, school, and fatigue.

I've been thinking a lot about these things. Not the fatigue part but the work and school part. This posting has been so serious - not like me. I'm trying to get back to normal. These things help me:
This is Ali with her friend Rob before their Homecoming Dance.
This is me and Holly in the back, KyAnn, Jackie, Lisa and Shauna in the front. We had a Girls' Night Out and ate at an Italian restaurant and talked about blogging. It was nice to get out and laugh with some of the funniest and nicest "girls" on the planet.

Okay, now that I got you caught up, I can't leave you without a funny story. I was shopping in my second home, aka Wal-Mart, when an elderly lady asks me if I knew the store very well. I know the store better than I should and she asked me where the tampons and Kotex would be. I told her they were on the other side of the pharmacy on the right. She turns to her husband and says, "See Harold. I was close but no cigar." Don't worry, I didn't laugh out loud.

Bloggin' BFFs and a Bathroom Story

A couple of weeks ago, I had the opportunity to meet a good friend of mine. Yeah, she is my good friend but we had never actually met! We went to lunch had a great time eating salads, talking, laughing, laughing some more, and we even had cheesecake under peer pressure. You know, "I'll have a piece if you do," and "I'll have a piece if you don't tell anyone I ate the whole thing by myself and licked my plate in public."

This is Lisa from Blue and Shoe, KyAnn from Checketts-Myers Clan and this is a rare photo of me. You know how much I love to get my photo taken. Lisa and KyAnn, you may notice a little Photoshop enhancement, erasing of any food particles still left on our face, removal of double chins and I gave myself a breast augmentation. Eh hem. There's only so much you can do in Photoshop when you start with a picture from a cheap camera with bad restaurant lighting.

I missed the other "Blog Friends" get together that KyAnn got to go to because I go to school on Thursday nights. I'm considering changing my night to Monday night. It seems I am missing a lot of things on Thursdays. I cried on Sunday because I'm missing Mimi's "Back-to-School" Fashion Show with the church activity days for girls age 8-11.

On another note, we had an emergency here tonight. For friends on Facebook who watched the drama unfold, you know I can't pass up a good toilet story. I will spare you the photos for this one......and I actually spared myself. There are no photos. It was almost as bad as this time.

Ali came upstairs and complained that the toilet was clogged in the basement. Jared went down and checked it out. He then proceeded to yell at Seth who I guess didn't feel like doing anything about it. I was upstairs in my room listening to the yelling that went on for about ten minutes. I found it a little humorous that they were having such a huge fight over a clogged toilet. We all know, Dr. Phil, that it's not about the clogged toilet. It's about the owner of the "problem" that won't accept responsibility. It's about adding more fiber to some one's food.

Then Ali tells me it's been like that since Sunday. That is wrong on so many levels. But I thought it was kind of funny. So my husband had to run to the hardware store to buy a "power plunger." This was one stubborn obstruction. Jared said he was going to go back to the hardware store to buy a snake. Mimi thought she was going to get a new pet. I downloaded a video so you can learn to use a Plumber's Snake, not a Toilet Snake like I was calling it. The toilet snake may be part of the problem. I was hoping to see more action in this video. I'm thinking when Jared uses the toilet snake I better get it on video. Maybe I'll even have a go with this little beauty!

Anyway, you can call off the exorcism now. Satan has fallen out of someone's bottom.