Friday, June 4, 2010

Cheesecake Happens

Last night I had a dream that my son graduated and he was wearing a cap and gown. The thing was - he was graduating with a bunch of delinquents. I have no idea what meaning that dream has.

I got together with my BFF on Friday night while my husband went on a medieval camp with Mimi. No, I did not want to go and when Mimi called to tell me goodnight, she happened to mention there was no toilet and she would have to potty in the woods, that was an affirmation of my decision.

Karen and I ate at Rubio's where I had a sip of water that tasted like it was fresh from the toilet. Really. It was that bad. Try putting out a flaming mouth with that.

Thursday, I came home from work and our conversation went something like this:

Mimi: Why are you wearing a shirt under that shirt?

Me: 'Cause everyone would see my boobs if I didn't.

Mimi: You mean your crack?

Me: Yeah. It's actually called cleavage.

Mimi: Your crack is called cleavage?

Me: Yes.

Mimi: Your cleavage crack?

It reminds me of a time we were sitting in church, Mimi was about 2 1/2 years old. She was sitting on my lap facing me and it was dead quiet during our meeting. Next thing you know she pulls my scoop-necked T-shirt out and puts her head in and says loudly, "Mommy! You have a bum on your neck!" I handed her to Jared and didn't look up to see who saw that one.

I can't wait to explain what an anal cleft is, AKA gluteal cleft. Makes it sound so intelligently special. "Cover up your gluteal cleft." I guess that's what the thong was made for.

Thursday night I had school and Mimi wanted invitations to her birthday party to hand out the next day, which was the last day of school. So when I was telling my friend at work about her turning 10 on the 10th of June of 2010......I started crying. I didn't cry when my kids went to kindergarten, I thought they were so ready. But my baby turning 10? AND my other daughter is going to be a senior in high school this next school year. She's hoping to get a singing/theater scholarship and she said friends are talking about scholarships being better out of state. I told her she's not allowed to go out of state. I would have to move out of state with her and be her roommate.

You may notice I've put on a few pounds since my profile photo from last year. It happens fast and it sucks. I'll blame my birthday when everyone gave me cheesecake. So tonight after a girl's night with Karen, I ended it with reading all the blogs I'm following and had some cheesecake to drown my sorrows (two girls growing up).


Gil said...

AT least Seth graduated in your dream - I'm only batting .500 in the son graduating area (but .750 overall).
I ate at Marie Callenders in Las Vegas years ago, and had iced tea that tasted like it came from the bottom of a bait bucket, so I can appreciate your surprise at Rubio's. The word "nasty" would be an understatement.
And remember... "crack kills"! Especially plumber's crack.

Unknown said...

:) HAHA My 5 year old daughter recently (in public) poked my breast and asked what it was. I whispered "my breast". She then loudly asked when she was going to get some.

I couldn't help but laugh! I cry at everything, so, on my daughter's last day of pre-school... I was crying... I can't imagine what I will be like at graduation. eek

bingham 5 said...

Cheesecake makes everything better!

Saimi said...

Ha! That Mimi she's going to keep you on your toes!

Don't ever feel bad about eating cheesecake! What other dessert can you eat that offers so many different toppings?

I love Cheesecake!

Lorie said...

I love the things kids say when it gets quiet in church!

Welcome to the Garden of Egan said...

You are killing me!
Chest cleft?
Wow! You are totally awesome.
I'm glad to know that my thong is to cover my gluteal fold.

Mimi sounds like a hilarious little nightmare. Yelling is Sacrament meeting about your "endowments".

My baby is almost 19. I need your cheesecake in the worst way.

My sidebar picture is false advertising too. I've gained about 30 pounds since that one was taken.

Lisa said...

Jules slapped at my belly in the shower years ago and said, "Mom, listen. I'm playing drums on your front bum." Yeah. Made me happy. Anyway, have some cheesecake for me, too. Never mind. I wouldn't want to put you out. I'll get myself some. No. No, really! No trouble at all! Love ya!

KyAnn (like Cayenne Pepper, only HOTTER) said...

You had me at cheesecake.

Serene is my name, not my life! said...

Oh my gosh... I was seriously laughing out loud. That's so awesome. I'm pretty sure I've flashed an innocent soul or two during Sacrament meeting.

I want some cheesecake! Got some you could share?

Randyman5775 said...

I see how you are now. Last night I asked if there was anything new for me to read, and you said,"No". But then I'm glad I waited to read it when I had a truffle to eat while reading it. Thanks and enjoy your rest of the week off of school!

Cluttered Brain said...

Great, now I want some cheesecake.

Cluttered Brain said...


i am literally rolling on the floor with laughter.

Chest cleavage??

Love the comment "mom, you got a bum under there!!!"


Thanks for making me laugh once again.

Fiona said...

Cleavage cracks and cheesecake!!
your too funny!

Kristina P. said...

I didn't notice any weight gain!

And now I want Rubios. I don't want disgusting water, however.

Anonymous said...

My downfall is ice cream, more specifically, double or triple chocolate ice cream. I'm sure it has about the same fat & calorie content as cheesecake, because it has the same ability to pack the pounds on.

Anyway, great post about the way kids interpret, and often repeat - loudly! - what we say!

Out of the mouths of babes, indeed.

I found you through your SITS comment. I can be found here: