Tuesday, August 31, 2010

The Bull That Started It

Cheeseboy, you may want to skip this one. Your wife, however, may enjoy this.

Saturday night Mimi said, "Mom, I saw a commercial on TV and there was this bull thing that you ride with a diaper thing on it. But it wasn't a diaper. What was that thing?"

I tried to play dumb. "What? Like a saddle?"

"No. It was white and it was shaped like it would go on your underwear. Like it would fit between your legs. Do you know what that is?"

"Oh. Yeah. That's something that you use when you are a teenager."

"Well, I saw some at Laurie's house."

"Her teenage sisters probably use them."

"Well, what are they?" she asked.

"It's not something I can't tell you about in just a couple of minutes. We'll have a talk about it tomorrow after church," I'm thinking she'll forget about it by then.

Here's the commercial that caused the premature maturation conversation:

As soon as church was over she threw herself on the couch next to me. "Remember we were going to have that talk?"

So, this is my baby girl, she is only ten years old. She still sleeps with a teddy bear and wants to sit on your lap. She doesn't like boys yet and still likes dolls. Maturation Class isn't until the end of 5th grade. We are not ready for this.

"Those white things are called pads. Usually girls use them when they're teenagers or almost teenagers. You know how ladies are the only ones to have babies?"

"Uh huh."

"Well, inside our bodies is this little nest kind of thing and then the baby comes out of this tube. The nest is about the size of your fist and it's right above your bone right here." I drew her a cartoon of a lady with a cartoon reproductive system. "There's eggs in these little egg sacks and every month they take turns sending an egg to the nest. Our body gets ready to have a baby and if we don't have a baby, then our body has to get rid of the egg. So this stuff comes out of the tube every month for about 3-5 days and it's called a period. It's kind of like bloody snot. That's what we use those pads for."


She was very attentive, it wasn't too medical, I didn't giggle once and I don't think I freaked her out. She was so cute and smiling as we talked and I drew pictures. Thank goodness she didn't ask how the baby got in there.

"So why was there one on that bull?" That's what I want to know.


CB said...

That is such a weird commercial. I have never seen it and quite frankly I want to know why the pad is riding a bull too! Seriously!!
No wonder the poor kid had questions! Gotta love it - but you handled it great.
I have learned 10 years old NEVER forget - Ha ha!

Kristina P. said...

I think 10 is a great age! I think working with teenagers has made me realize I will need to have the talk with my hypothetical children early. Like 8. Yikes!

Saimi said...

Oh dear there's not going to be much that gets past that little darling!

Good job, you handled it great! If I ever go bull riding I'll have to try those out!

Leenie said...

Good thing you have those artistic and creative and mom skills. It sounds like you did a fine job of answering the important question. WHO KNOWS the answer to her question!

Welcome to the Garden of Egan said...

Man, I think I am so glad that this is behind me. Whew. It makes my lip sweat to think about those maturation videos.

Hope Cheeseboy skipped this one.

Lisa said...

That's what I want to know, too! Seriously, that was some crappy publicity for a pad. Brilliantly handled, my dear. Especially the bloody snot part. Soooo...yeah.

Holly said...

WOW!! You ARE GOOD!!! LOL!! I wish YOU had been my mom! ;D Yeah... I was 9! So it was a good thing to HAVE to come out about now. ;p

Maybe someone should contact ALWAYS and find out their thought process in creating such a strange commercial. Maybe it was an advertising ploy to make little girls ASL what it is! LOL!! In that case, they succeeded! Hehehe!

See Mom Smile said...

Yes that is the most disturbing commercial I have ever seen. And that is the cutest conversation ever. You did a great job without freaking her out. I would like to see the picture you drew though!

Cheeseboy said...

Oh geez. How could I NOT read this after two WARNINGS?!

Well, I made it through about half.