Saturday, March 14, 2009

Johnny is a Sociopath

When I was younger, not that long ago, I used to think you had to befriend everyone. I thought if you weren't friends with everyone, that made you judgemental. I don't think it was until I went to London and met some very strange characters that my eyes were opened.

I was very sad when I asked Ali (16) about one of her friends I'll call "Sue". She announced that they weren't friends anymore. "WHAT?" I love this girl! Ali then tells me, "She's making some bad decisions and I don't agree with her, so we're not friends anymore."

I'm seriously broken-hearted. This is the funnest, bubbliest, craziest girl ever. "What is she doing?"

"She's guaging her ears, drinking and making out with a new boy every weekend. I don't want people to think I'm like that," she said, confidently.

So here comes the judgement thought: "Sue needs a good friend like Ali now more than ever." Here comes the realistic thought: "A girl's gotta protect her reputation, and Sue knows better."

We had a family night and discussed an article in "The Friend", a children's magazine. I was reading it when all of those thoughts came to me. The story was about a boy who made friends with another boy who no one would play with in which I add as if part of the story (plus I was testing to see if anyone was listening) "because Johnny was a weirdo who grew up to be a pedophile." They were listening! My teens laughed. It went directly over my 8 year old's head.

"Does it say that?" Seth asks.

Of course, I'm cracking myself up hysterically. So sad, but I do laugh at my own jokes. But here's the point: You don't have to be friends with everyone. We have a little feeling inside that gives us alarms for certain people and there's a reason for that. You can be polite to everyone, but Johnny could be a sociopath, so don't go to the movies with him!


Nancy said...

I agree. Nice to everyone -- yes, but friends with everyone -- no. Someone once brought this up asking about if we should tell out kids they always have to say "yes" to someone asking them out. While I would definitly encourage them to be open minded and not just turn someone down based on popularity or appearances, I would never ever want them to say yes to anyone they felt uncomfortable about. I like your thought of their own little internal guide letting them know when someone isn't quite what they should have in their lives at the moment.

Gil said...

You should have applied for Ann Landers' old job. You are SO clever! (I have met Johnny and he IS a sociopath ... or was ... right up until the moment I was forced to kill him.)

JaMean said...

I HATE when my kids lose friends. It's so sad as a parent to know that these kids are going in a direction that we don't approve of.

But, dang, you have to be proud of Ali. :) What a good girl.

Karen said...

I think you've hit the nail on the head. If you get the weird vibe thing going there is absolutely no reason to get better acquainted than a friendly 'Hello!'

Karen said...

I think I dated Johnny.....

Kari said...

Way to go Ali! By her example she just might turn this girl back around! Ali is a sweetheart and a smart kid. This girl will now look at her and, maybe not soon, but definitely will realize what a mistake she made by going down this road and Ali not following.

And, way to go Mom! You are very insightful and you listen to the Spirit. YOU GO GIRL!