Wednesday, March 4, 2009

How To Out Party Your Teenager

1. Start out with a slumber party that you can crash. Preferably a friend's daughter. Arrive at the party with your daughter. She will be slightly embarrassed - the party has started.

2. Suggest a trip to Wal-mart. This could be tricky so I recommend splitting up from the girls, otherwise it will be a competition to see who can embarrass the others more. We moms do have a reputation in public of being mature. And we don't want to get kicked out of the store.

3. Let them load up on sugary treats and energy drinks. You can sneak some from them when they're not looking.

4. While they are talking about friends and boys (or texting other people - I don't get it) you go on the computer and look up hilarious blogs like this one. That will remind you of your own funny story and another and another. By this time one of the girls should fall asleep - which would be my daughter. Where did I go wrong? Now you are embarrassed of the lack of partying skills that obviously skipped a gene.

5. Laugh until you are delirious and then invite a fun friend over. By this time you have three people who are catalysts to each other from one demented thought to another. Time to steal treats.

6. Tell the girls you are going to leave. Then continue absurd conversation that eventually leads to talking about the bathroom and aging. This will cause the girls to retire because they are mortified.

7. At this point you will be in pain from laughing too much. Your cheeks will look slimmer and your abs should feel a slight burn. Try to leave by 3 AM because you know how cranky moms can be when they don't get enough sleep.

6 comments:

Nancy said...

I am jealous of your partying fun. I can always tell when my fun has gone on til a bit too late because I find myself completely unable to stop myself from laughing like a complete drunkard at everything anyone says.

AND!!!!! Thanks for my award winning TEA TOWELL!!! Who could be anything but in love with that towell what with Spring in the air and all!! Now I can only hope hope that you continue to make us guess more things on your blog and that I can continue to give the best answers!! Really. Thanks. Who would be so fun and cute!?

Krista said...

Thanks Nancy! I really like do fun things and love an excuse to give someone a little something. You've been a fun bloggy friend and we'll have to meet at the mall between our cities one day! Ha!

Karen said...

You are such a party animal. I am glad you almost hit your fun quota for the weekend.

I love this post! One of my top ten favorites.

So does your teenage daughter know how late you stayed?

Danielle said...

I love it! We do know how to out party the best. It will always be a fun memory. Here is to many more :)

Karen said...

Sounds like a good time. I'll have to study and memorize the list so that I can completely mortify my daughter when she has her sleepover next month.

Kari said...

I'm just wondering who your fun friend was. I didn't get the invite! ;) Nothing is more fun than embarrassing your kids! I keep telling my kids it's in the mom handbook that you don't get until you are a mom. It explains exactly what you are supposed to do to embarrass your kids, and yet they don't believe me! Go figure.