Thursday, February 26, 2009

30% of Life

I love my workplace. It's very inspirational. They train and employ disabled people to work in the community or the more disabled work in our facility. I don't work directly with the clients, but I do occasionally have to go to their side of the building for things. Sometimes, I wonder if I actually work for an asylum. Someone will let out a blood curdling scream - her way of letting the others know she is having a tantrum.

One lady who is probably close to 50 years old comes in the door swearing. She shouts, "So shut up you d*** b**** sh**!" I found that a little humorous because it was out of context, but I've felt like that before.

Then there is a man, probably 50+, with shaggy sideburns and has the mentality similar to a six year old, I'll call "Dee." Whenever he sees me he says the exact same thing almost word for word. "Hey! I'm gonna watch that movie on Friday. And you're in it. Really. You look just like her, same face and everything." I'm embarrassed to say who Dee thinks I look like, but I look nothing like her. Maybe it's because we both have blonde hair. Then he asks, "Do you like me?" I say, "Of course I do. You're one of my favorite people." Then he asks, "Do you love me?" "Sure I do," I say. Then Dee says, "Okay."

Dee sometimes has bad days and though he has the mind of a child, he has the strength of a man. I was warned that he can be violent at times. So he was talking to another secretary and I hear his voice escalate, "Oh yeah?! Well then I'm gonna..." (Crap! What do I do?) "throw a pie in your face." (Whew! Relief!)

When I go in the back, all the clients are interested in who I am. I stop and talk to a few of them. They liked my pink cast. This little cute man with Down's Syndrome who is as wide as he is tall shows me his ace bandage on his knee. It took a full minute for him to lift his pant leg up. I asked if he hurt it and he says, "No. It's..." He looks at his hand and stares at his fingers which were about two inches long. Then he returns to the moment and says, "Limp." I can't tell you how stinkin' cute he is. "Marty" wants to be a police officer because he wants to help people. He wears a police baseball hat and T-shirt. I said, "You're looking nice in your police hat, Marty." He watches me walk by and then shouts, "And joo bjoo-tiful!"

I get to work with some of the most wonderful people ever and I could probably write an entire post on each one of them and how fascinating their lives are. Some have survived cancer, buried a child, triumphed over tragedy. You would never know it because they exude strength.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Disabilities and Psychology

I've been absent for almost a week. Work, physical therapy, children, sleep, more therapy, voice lessons, homework, piano know the routine. By the end of the day I feel my eyes are glazed over.

That kinda reminds me of something funny that happened at work. This light blue eyed, blonde, 30-ish man comes in and tells me he has changed banks and needs to give us the new routing numbers. I got the form and said, "Okay, if you can just fill out the highlighted parts we can get that taken care of for you." Then he said, "I can't fill it out, I'm visually impaired." Without thinking I say, "Okay. I can fill it out for you." Then I realize (and how can I forget after five weeks) I can't write very well with my left hand. Then I laugh thinking we were quite the pair. So I got another secretary to fill it out for him.

I learned a great new word from my SIL, Sheila. Rumination. I can't get that word out of my head now. (If you already know the definition of that word you will find that sentence somewhat humorous.) If you don't know the definition it means: "contemplation or reflection, which may become persistant and recurrent worrying or brooding." In other words, it means to chew on the same thought over and over.

It sounds a lot like "brain worms", which is when you can't get a song out of your head. I think I get those everyday. Everyday is a new song. That sounds like one of those quotes you put on your wall.....profound. (Go away, Martha!) Sometimes commercials or songs that I really don't want to think about enter my mind. Remember this song? My song recently has been that wonderful 80's song "Always Something There To Remind Me." I apologize now if it is now stuck in your head, too. "And I'll never be free, you'll always be a part of me - whoa whoa whoa." It just doesn't have the same effect when you read the words.

The amazing brain. When you're trying not to think about something why are there so many things to keep reminding you? Is this coincidence? Is it a sign? Is it the universe being cruel? The cure for rumination is distraction, do something to change your focus. With my luck, it will backfire and cause a Pavlov's dog effect. Just like I crave Chips Ahoy when I hear "Don't You Want Me Baby". The media is sending subliminal messages.

Mimi and I were in the car when Avril Lavine's song "Chill out, what ya yellin' for..." song came on. Mimi says, "That song reminds me of putting on make up in the car." Two summers ago Mimi, Ali, niece Sadie from NC and I drove to Yellowstone. We were listening to Avril Lavine's CD while Ali and Sadie put their make up on. Then Mimi said, "There's another song that you sing that reminds me of noodles." I don't dare ask.

So today's song was "Stayin' Alive" from the Bee Gees. We were getting the run down on CPR and Jan said you were supposed to compress the chest to that beat. So of course we start singing it. And there it is, still stuck in my head. Do you have any songs stuck in your head?

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Your Best Guess!

Nancy & Karen (Rocking Pony) if you send me your address I will send you a little somethin' somethin' for your lovely guesses! Email at

I love you. Actually I loved all the guesses. Now if they would quit ID-ing me everytime I buy spray paint......

Cast Away

Yea! I got my cast off today! Now it's off to the torture chamber aka physical therapy. I was told I'm not allowed to write for four more weeks. I've gotten pretty good with my left hand. I got an A+ in penmanship in 2nd grade and thought I would revert back to it. Maybe I will graduate to 3rd grade by the end of all of this.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Blame or Power?

First I have to say thanks to all those who commented on my sickly sweet Valentine's post. You've seen another side of me and I can't believe you're back. I'll try really hard to refrain from being too serious.

I'm the new girl at work. I've only been there for 4 1/2 months and still learning a lot. I try to make the others laugh and try to not take my job too seriously. So when I make a mistake, as embarrassing as it is, I try to make light of it. As one lady was showing me a mistake I made I said tongue in cheek, "I suck at that. You should fire me." Totally caught her off guard. She laughed and said, "I don't think so."

A man came into the office with some piece of mail (which I'm in charge of distributing) and questioned who's it was and why was it in his box. I chose the closest lady to him and said, "Linda told me if I didn't know what to do with the mail to just put it in your box." Lucky she's got a sense of humor and laughs and says, "I did not."

Then there was the mess with the paper shredder. When the janitor came in and asked about the mess I quickly say, "Cori did that." I have fun catching people off guard and blaming them for things that I obviously did.

Realistically, I accept things that I've done wrong. I don't make a whole lot of mistakes....uh hum.....but I own what I do. Have you ever been blamed wrongly for something? It totally sucks and hurts and as I got to deep thinking one day (it was for one day, but it passed) I realized: when someone blames you for something, they are giving you a lot of power. They are saying, "I have no power over this situation and it's because you did _____." I was feeling hurt and angry and felt like I was thrown under a train in a situation. I was blamed for the whole problem.....and I just recently realized - I was given the power. It's amazing how much power someone is willing to give you. I didn't know I had it! It almost makes me want to prod them just for fun.....I really shouldn't share thoughts like that, should I?

So I've gone from hurt to anger to power to peace to humor. I really didn't want blame or power (and I'm sure you don't either) but I guess if you have to choose one it's best to see it for what it really is. Meanwhile, I'll still keep blaming my innocent workmates for things I've done. At least they know I'm always kidding. Sheez! And next time you get all the blame, remember: You have the power!

I Get It - But I'm Just Shameless

I understand that people aren't as interested in my children as I am. I get it that people basically humor me by listening to me rave about my kids. Especially my fellow yellow, golden child, Ali. Those that know her know that she is a gem. I've referred to her as "my consolation prize", "a breath of fresh air", or "my blessing." I didn't say she's my favorite because I don't have one. I love each of my kids for the differences they have, but she has been my low maintenance child.

Today, she is a very sweet sixteen. Jared once said we shouldn't be proud of our children - because that's a display of pride. Rather we should be pleased with our children as God said about Jesus, "This is my beloved Son, in whom I'm well pleased." It's very difficult for me to be humble talking about Ali. I'm sure all you parents are the same about your kids.

Ali was born 13 days overdue 16 years ago today (or yesterday if you're in Australia). Yep. That's right. 13 days overdue. She was born in Brisbane at the Mater Miseracordiae Hospital or "mothers of mercy" in Latin and in Australian they say "motta hospital". She was the most beautiful baby ever to be born there so we gave her the name of a princess, Alexandra. Actually, we couldn't agree on a name and it took three days after her birth to name her.

I wanted to add some pictures, but they are buried in our guest room since we have had guests for about two weeks. The first was a fugitive who led the police on a high speed chase and now we have JR's cousin's son for just a few days. Such a nice lad. Back to Ali, she is having a party here with girlfriends only on Friday, so I will have to add pictures then.

For her birthday she got her driver's license. I don't know how she did it, but don't say I didn't warn you.

Saturday, February 14, 2009

To Love That Much

How would it be to have someone love you so much that they tell you you are beautiful every day? Or give you any material possession you ask for? How would it be to have someone love you so much they are willing to change their bad habits for you or give you a massage just because they like the feel of your skin? How would it be to have someone love you so much that when they give you another box of chocolates after you have just lost a significant amount of weight and you complain it will make you fat and they say, "I still loved you when you were fat. You're still beautiful." How would it be to have someone love you so much they are willing to wait for you to feel the same way? How would it be to have someone love you so much, they don't work as many hours as they used to because they realized work can't love you back and they want to be with you? Or if you are feeling depressed they understand now and constantly reassure your worth? How would it be to have someone love you so much that they thank you for having their children and if they could lasso the moon for you they would?

I guess I'm just lucky like that.

Friday, February 13, 2009

They're Only Numbers

I love numbers. Sudoku. Math. Number patterns. Balancing my checkbook to the cent every month. I remember numbers. It's a curse when someone changes their phone number. What am I supposed to do with the old phone number stored in my head? I remember birthdays, which makes some people uncomfortable because they can't remember mine. Remembering mine is not the point. I can't help remembering their birthday, therefore I live with the guilt if I don't acknowledge it. If you happen to have any spare chocolates around, it's my birthday today.

Today is Friday the 13th. I obviously am not superstitious since I don't believe the lame horoscopes or fortune cookies that have been very greedy with their luck. (I'm protesting against Chinese restaurants.) Today would be a lucky day, since I've survived six other birthdays that were on Friday the 13th. I won't be having another Friday the 13th birthday until 2016 - SeVen years from now. I looked for a pattern but didn't find an easy one. If you figure out the pattern, I will send you a prize. Does anyone want an 18 year old son?

My Age. Another number. Numbers can lie. They can be vindictive and cruel. Only when it comes to age, weight and Price tagS. I don't mind my age. I just don't want to look my age. I will send a prize to the person that guesses the best guess. I didn't say the correct age, I said the best guess. That would mean the answer I like the best. And for those that know my true age - don't you dare post my age on my blog. It's my blog and I'll delete if I want to, delete if I want to, delete if I want to. You would delete too if it happened to you.

Now I have to shout to another Feb birthday from the 11th - my old MTC roommate Robyn. She and her companion were going to Texas and my comp was going to the Manchester mission and I went to the London mission. We kept touch all these years. One More shout out to an office mate: Rodney - get better soon.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Sporting Our New Bling

The Mimster with her new glasses.
Ali usually wears contacts. I don't really love these glasses but they're the happenin' thing.

Gorgeous sisters.

I have 20/20 vision but the only one in the fam with a pink cast. Would you expect any other color?

Sunday, February 8, 2009

Keeping Cool

Not such a mundane Sunday today. After church we were eating lunch when our neighbors almost beat our door down. When I opened the door I had teen girls in 7th grade and 10th grade shouting at me at the same time. I couldn't understand what they were saying and they kept pointing to their house. Finally, one girl shouts, "My sister's skin is split open and my parents aren't home!!!" I didn't know what she meant by that but I ran across the street with them. Their 10 year old sister was sitting on the floor holding a pad on her leg. She looked at me with panic in her eyes.

I amazingly kept calm. "It's okay, we're going to take care of you. Show me what happened." She lifted the pad and there was a gash that was opened three inches and at least an inch deep. It looked like someone had removed a large chunk of skin from her thigh. She wasn't bleeding which was strange to me since I could see tissue and it was so far opened. I tried to stay calm so she wouldn't freak out. "Yep, you really cut it. Keep it covered so no germs can get in it." I'm sure vomit could contain germs.

The story was she was chasing her brother, having fun, fell and hit the support post of the balustrade at the top of the stairs leading to the basement. There were no sharp corners and I couldn't figure out how she gouged her leg so badly.

Their parents were on their way back from out of town and their big brother (17) had a 911 dispatcher on the phone and I told them I would drive her to the hospital since it wasn't bleeding. Jared came over and had her lay down because she was pale and probably going into shock. He didn't look at the wound because he seriously can't handle human blood. They carried her to my van and the four kids came with me to the hospital.

I have to say "Anna" was very brave. She didn't cry and thanked me on the way for taking her. Their grandparents were about 1/2 hour away were going to meet me in the ER. There was great relief when we made it there and the doctors were able to see her right away. I left when their grandparents arrived because everything is better when your grandparents are around.

The reason her skin was split open is when she hit the post her thigh caught but her body kept going and it literally split open. She ended up with over 20 stitches inside and out. That will be my third visit to an emergency room since May last year. Anna has to miss the next two days of school to keep her leg elevated, then use crutches for the next three weeks. I'm glad it's all over with and that she will be fine.

If you have a strong stomach, you can scroll down for a look at the gash I kept my stomach intact for:

Saturday, February 7, 2009

Six Things That Make You Smile

I was tagged by my friend Christina to share six things that make me smile. Hmmm......

1. Babies always make me smile. They make everyone smile, I'm sure, unless it's your turn to change the diaper.

2. Thinking of friends and family near and far makes me smile. Sounds like a Hallmark card but it's true. When I get a reply or a contact from an old friend (like Robin from CO, Kristen from PA and Lisa from Oz recently) I always smile. And of course my friends and family close by.

3. My family: Seth and his sense of humour and his hugs. Ali and her grades, singing, accomplishments but not her driving which causes me to grit my teeth which could be misinterpreted as a smile. Mimi and her cute sayings and her passion for life. Jared's eyebrow twitching when he pretends he's sad.

4. Other cute kids when they talk to me. I give them my attention and smile at them. What they have to say is so important. I like the big kids, too. They make me laugh actually, which is even better!

5. Getting chocolate faced with Karen. That's more of a drunken smile mixed with guilt.

6. Sleep. I'm sure I smile in my sleep.

RULES:Link to the person who has tagged you.Write down six things that make you happy.Post the rules, tag six others and let them know you did it.Then tell the person when your entry is complete. I tag: Karen, my dad, Kari, Di, Diane J. and Barack.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Is This The TMI Award?

My BFF Karen tagged me with this meme. Now, if I want to keep this award I have give 10 honest "juicy" things about me. I'm so honest do you want me to be? I guess as long as I'm not confessing, I'm okay.

1. I'm deathly afraid of bugs. Australia has many large and strange bugs and I don't miss them. I especially don't like preying mantises. Even though spiders are considered arachnids, they're still bug-like and scare me, too. I tried to find a picture of a huntsman spider that would show how big they are this is the only one I could find. They are about as big as your handspan.

2. I'm very insecure. Though I'm very outgoing and can befriend anyone I get anxiety thinking about what people might think of me. I know I shouldn't care and unless you were one of my bff's you would never guess this about me.

3. Carol Burnett, Tim Conway and Paul Lynde were my childhood heroes. I still think the Carol Burnett show was the funniest of all time.

4. I dated many guys in my single days but I've only truly loved two guys. One of them I married, my darling Jared. He has recently treated me like nothing less than a princess. I'm very spoiled. He's good looking, too.

5. I don't like cats. I like dogs much better.

6. I have trigeminal neuralgia. That means I have a nerve in my face that sends pain signals for no reason. I have to take a pain killer occasionally for this. It comes and goes in cycles. I don't talk about it much since I've had it for about five years.

7. I used to be a Martha Stewart. I don't have that kind of time or desire to be her anymore. I think she was one of my split personalities and she finally split off for good. Carol Burnett is one of my split personalities.

8. I don't like getting my hair wet. I have a blonde afro that's very hard to tame and unless I have conditioner, BioSilk, blow dryer, straightening iron and hairspray around, I refuse to get my hair wet.

9. I'm addicted to Sudoku! I love word puzzles, games and even board games except Monopoly, which bores me.

10. Something juicy......yawn.....uh.....I need a.......reduction? If you would like to donate to the cause let me know. Be careful what you wish for as a teenager. No photo for this one, sorry.

Now I would like to tag: Kari, Diane J., Jared because he's never done a meme before and anyone else who would like to do it!

Sunday, February 1, 2009

Daze Spa

There are perks of being temporarily disabled. I haven't been able to do my hair so I had my husband help me wash it. He was fired after his first attempt. I think he was just jealous because I'm follickly endowed.

Ali, an aspiring beautician, blow dried and styled my hair. This is quite a task because I have some seriously thick hair. It's nice to have special treatment.

As we were watching a movie on TV, Mimi stood behind me on the couch and brushed my hair. I allowed her to stand on the furniture for just this occasion. Aahh. This is the life. The only thing that would make it better is zero pain.

So when I went to the mall to order glasses for my girls, who are ever so slightly near-sighted but perfect in every way besides this one teensy flaw, and after spending $5oo in eye ware, I was getting used to the spa treatment. That had no flow or sense but remember, I'm a one-handed blonde on pain killers. Actually, I ran out of pills but not pain.

Back to the mall, where it is easy to lose one's thoughts, money and children. I was innocently waiting for Ali and one of the five Sam's when I was attacked. The Dead Sea Salesman was there with bated breath. "Are those nails natural?" You know how I am about being natural. "What?" I said like a typical American who can't understand foreign accents. He repeated himself and I quickly said, "I already have one of those." Crap! I was like a sitting duck!

"You know Regis?" he asks. "Regis?" like I'm thinking "Regis and Kelly." "Yes. Regis. They make your nails crack and break." "Mine don't break," obviously. Then I figured out he was saying "ridges." "Let me show you something," since he had my one good hand and I couldn't fight him off with the other, I followed. I was powerless.

"Sit down. Let me spoil you. This is my spa. You deserve to be spoiled." "Ha! Yeah, right," I say. I'm no sucker for flattery. "Show me your ritz." "What?!" as it dawned on me he was trying to say "wrists." No one's asked me to show my ritz for quite some time, except Jared who loves me no matter how droopy my ritz is.

He proceeded to wipe something on my forearm. Then he insults me by saying, "As women get older they need to exfoliate more." Here was my ticket out. "Are you saying I'm old?" "Oh, no! You look amazing. Will you marry me?" Ha! "You're young enough to be my son." Yep. He was 23. But of course he says, "If you were ten years old." SOLD to the sucker with the mid-life crisis!!! Just kidding. "Many ladies get buttocks. You won't need buttocks with this." "What?" I ask having no interest in another butt. I already have one that works overtime. Then I realize he means "Botox." He continued with his "you are beautiful" etc., etc, etc, etc.......etc. I answered with many sarcastic "Yeah, right" and "whatever" which would make my new son laugh.

Then the hard sell. "I will give this to you for my price." He whispers $35 in my ear like it was a proposition. Okay, not like a proposition, but I'm sure he thought I was hot for a mom. In his country mothers cover their faces, so you really never know if you have the best looking mom of all your friends. I'm sure he thought I was hot. "I really don't need it." I was strong, I was invincible, I was, la, la. "Okay. I'll give you $30." He looked as if I slapped his face, but that's what I pay for Avon. I felt triumphant. He asked his manager and it was a deal. Next thing you know, I was forging my own signature with my left hand. I did my part in providing another meal for this young boy - minus $5 out of his commission. That's what you get when you try to flatter smart but very hot, middle-aged ladies. Middle-aged. What a stupid word. That's a whole new post.