Bustin' a Move

I was going to wait until I had nothing to do before returning to Blogland. With our visitors from Australia, a flooded basement, another water leak a week later, my daughter's pageant, Yellowstone, Disneyland.....I haven't had a chance to catch up! Then Seth shared with me this hilarious story:

Seth walked his girlfriend out to the car to say good-bye......his little sister (Mimi, 11) decided to follow them. As they had their arms around each other waiting for the right moment for the goodnight kiss, Mimi stood three feet away from them. Unaware of the awkwardness she was causing she stood there, dancing to the beat in her head, wiggling her hips and shaking her booty. The young couple looked at her, trying to give her the hint. Finally, Mimi said, "C'mon, Seth. Let's do the Macarena so we can go inside."

Personally, I like doing the Hustle.

Lady in Waiting

I posted on Facebook today that I hate waiting. I'm not a patient person when it comes to wasting my time. I went to work and then straight to the doctor for an appointment where I waited. And I waited. And can you believe there were NO FREAKIN' female magazines! Well, there were baby magazines, Family Fun, Parenting, Golf, ESPN, Car and Web MD. There was also a Bible that I figured was there for people who are really sick and need to change their wicked ways.

Back to waiting. I read the entire Bible.....well, I could have if I knew I'd be waiting for an hour and fifteen minutes. Then the medical assistant asked me to step on the scales and I whined like a four year old, "I didn't want to get weighed today."

She was very sympathetic, "I know, with this cold weather everyone has all those extra layers on." 'Cause it's bloomin' snowing today, folks - snowing in April!!! As if Pia getting voted off American Idol wasn't stupid enough.

The numbers appeared on the scales, "I don't really weigh that much." She humored me, "How much do you really weigh?" I subtracted 29 lbs. "Really? 20 lbs of extra clothing?" she asked.

"You do realize I'm here for depression and you're really not helping matters." She led me into another room where I waited for another 20 minutes. Newsweek or Marie Claire? Holy crap. I'm already smart and beautiful. They have nothing to offer me.

I went to the pharmacy and I had to wait some more because they didn't have my prescription ready. Then I was told my med needed a FREAKIN' PRE-AUTHORIZATION and guess what? Because I waited so long at the doctor's office it was now 5:00 in the evening and I would have to wait until possibly Monday. That gives me two more days to possibly go on a crime spree.

My husband suggested we go out to dinner and because I'm very considerate of his time, I decided to warn him about the waiting time. So we decided to meet there and while I was telling the kids to get in the car he called and asked me to wait for him instead. When we got to the restaurant they had a waiting time of 45 minutes. You add that to the waiting time it takes for the server to take your order and then the waiting time to bring your food, the drink refills, the free bread sticks, the mints and the bill and ........ so we went somewhere else.

Mimi needed to go to the bathroom and so I came with her to show her where the bathroom is and took the opportunity to wash my hands. As we were leaving I caught a glimpse of a very large brown slug on the floor in one of the stalls. I stepped back to take another look and it wasn't a slug. I said, "Ew. Is that a turd?"

"I can't look or I'll be sick," Mimi says. She was obviously switched at birth.

That had absolutely nothing to do with the rest of this story, but I thought you would like that part. Your welcome. But at least I was a responsible parent and chaperoned my kid to the bathroom unlike some. At least I hope that was a kid......or a stray animal. Did I mention this restaurant kind of rhymes with Crapper Barrel?

I guess I won't be tying my stories together, they are what they are.

Getting Back to "Normal"

I'm waiting for my life to get back to normal. I've had another absence again, but with good reason. My dear step dad passed away on September 17th. Art has been my step dad for 25 years. Even when a person is considered elderly, even when their health is failing, I still don't think you are ready for it. He was "terrible good" until the end.

The Patriot Guard Riders escorted us to the cemetery on their motorcycles and saluted Art, an army veteran and a Harley Davidson rider when he could ride. They made a path to his final resting place, while his grandsons carried him in the casket he made himself.

There's a lot of deep thinking when someone close to you passes away. It's as if everything has paused for you but life is still running in fast motion for everyone else. You contemplate what is really important and realize there are many things that force you to lose focus on them - like work, school, and fatigue.

I've been thinking a lot about these things. Not the fatigue part but the work and school part. This posting has been so serious - not like me. I'm trying to get back to normal. These things help me:
This is Ali with her friend Rob before their Homecoming Dance.
This is me and Holly in the back, KyAnn, Jackie, Lisa and Shauna in the front. We had a Girls' Night Out and ate at an Italian restaurant and talked about blogging. It was nice to get out and laugh with some of the funniest and nicest "girls" on the planet.

Okay, now that I got you caught up, I can't leave you without a funny story. I was shopping in my second home, aka Wal-Mart, when an elderly lady asks me if I knew the store very well. I know the store better than I should and she asked me where the tampons and Kotex would be. I told her they were on the other side of the pharmacy on the right. She turns to her husband and says, "See Harold. I was close but no cigar." Don't worry, I didn't laugh out loud.

Lessons From Drama

So, I told you about my sucky letter that I got on Saturday. I was a bit emotional about that on the weekend but I'm good now. Just had to get it out of my system. I'm still a little bitter. I could spew out some sarcasm, I'm sure.

Saturday, as I sat at my desk and cried, my wonderful 17 year old daughter Ali walked in and asked me what was wrong. I told her I didn't even get an interview for the position at her school that I really wanted. I had told her about it before and she thought it would be cool if I got a job at her school. I told her they probably had someone in mind for the job already.

My precious daughter put her arms around me and said, "It's okay, Mom. In theater we learn that sometimes people are already picked out for parts. And even when you do your best and you try out for a part and you don't get it, it doesn't mean you weren't good enough. It just means the part was already given to someone else. There's nothing you could have done to change it. You're still a good actor and there will be other parts."

Really? Is she mine? How did I get a daughter so wonderful? My 19 year old son, Seth, came in and hugged me and said, "I love you, Mom." Mimi just came in and hugged me. My husband of course, said everything right and encouraged me. The dog reminded me that there was still ball to play and sometimes it gets stuck under the couch and you need someone to get it for you. There's a deep analogy there for you. My true friends have dived under the couch for me this week.

I'm feeling the pressure of improving my skills so I am not at the bottom of the totem pole but schooling is really taking a big bite out of my time. I love studying graphic design but it sure is hard having much energy for anything much after that. So I'm trying to decide if I need to cut to one day a week of school or what. That was another reason I was looking forward to having summers off, so I could fill in some more time with school. Well, I'll keep reading my fortune cookies and see what life has in store for me. Any advice?

Magic Mimi

This story kind of reminds me the old cartoon, "Hey! Watch me pull a rabbit out of my hat!" "RAWR!" What I'd really like to see is Obama pull all those promises out of his - but this isn't one of those kind of blogs.
I have a ten year old daughter who knows magic. Yep. She goes by the stage name of "Magic Mimi." If you were ever wondering, her real name is Amelia and her toddler version of her name was "Mimi", so it stuck.

Trick Number 1: When her grandpa was staying with us a few weeks ago she decided to show him some of her magic card tricks. She had her stack of cards (a very short, suspicious stack of cards) and fanned them out and told Grandpa to pick a card. He drew one from the deck and looked at it and put it face down.

"Make sure you memorize it," she said.

He looked at it again, "Okay."

"Concentrate real hard and don't forget your card," she says in all seriousness.

He cackles, looks at his card to humor her and says, "Okay. I think I have it memorized now."

"Now place it back in the deck."

Grandpa, who's played this card trick one too many times in his life does the old switcheroo. "Okay, close your eyes." She closes her eyes. He places his card in the deck. She then straightens the deck.

"Let me go get my magic wand." She then runs to the other room and returns with.........a glow stick! She taps the deck three times and starts rummaging through the cards carefully in one direction, then in the other direction. She straightens the deck again. She gets the magic wand again and taps the deck a little harder this time, three times, and does the same thing again. She's looking a little panicked now. She straightens the deck again and this time beats the deck with the wand three times and says, "I don't know what's wrong with this magic wand!" She looks through the deck again and she finally says, "Hey! Did you trick me?"

Trick Number 2: Mimi laid out 12 cards face down on the floor and told Grandpa to memorize his card. She mixed them all around and tapped each card with the "magic wand" once and then went back and tapped each card in rhythm three times. It was like watching a ritual. Then she went back to tapping each card once again when I finally said, "Okay, Mimi!" She stopped (got the message, the build up was too much.) Then she pulled a card up from the display and said, "Was this your card, Grandpa?"

He said, "I don't know, you never showed me the card in the first place."

In which we all burst out laughing and she said, "Oh, yeah, I forgot."

There's real potential there, I know. She knows how to capture an audience, admit when her wand is freakin' broken (happens all the time) and adds humor. We're bookin' her for parties now, so book early.

Regarding Frolicking

I thought I would answer some questions asked of me in a blog post. We went to Oregon to visit my dad and step-mother over Labor Day and thought we would visit the Redwood Forest since we were so close. We had gone seven years ago and I had said about the forest, "I feel like a tiny little fairy amongst all these huge trees." So we thought we would rent costumes and dress the part. Now some people would think that is a strange idea, but my family had so much fun doing this and it has created a forever memory. I reluctantly added a picture of myself (because we know how much I love getting my photo taken) and I am kissing my little Mimi in the picture, which is the best of a bad bunch. It was drizzling rain and my hair protested so in most pictures I look more like a scarecrow than a fairy. There weren't a lot of people around during our photo session, so we didn't have to feel too uncomfortable. Actually, I think I was the only one who felt uncomfortable and once again thinking, "Me and my big ideas!"

Johnny is a Sociopath

When I was younger, not that long ago, I used to think you had to befriend everyone. I thought if you weren't friends with everyone, that made you judgemental. I don't think it was until I went to London and met some very strange characters that my eyes were opened.

I was very sad when I asked Ali (16) about one of her friends I'll call "Sue". She announced that they weren't friends anymore. "WHAT?" I love this girl! Ali then tells me, "She's making some bad decisions and I don't agree with her, so we're not friends anymore."

I'm seriously broken-hearted. This is the funnest, bubbliest, craziest girl ever. "What is she doing?"

"She's guaging her ears, drinking and making out with a new boy every weekend. I don't want people to think I'm like that," she said, confidently.

So here comes the judgement thought: "Sue needs a good friend like Ali now more than ever." Here comes the realistic thought: "A girl's gotta protect her reputation, and Sue knows better."

We had a family night and discussed an article in "The Friend", a children's magazine. I was reading it when all of those thoughts came to me. The story was about a boy who made friends with another boy who no one would play with in which I add as if part of the story (plus I was testing to see if anyone was listening) "because Johnny was a weirdo who grew up to be a pedophile." They were listening! My teens laughed. It went directly over my 8 year old's head.

"Does it say that?" Seth asks.

Of course, I'm cracking myself up hysterically. So sad, but I do laugh at my own jokes. But here's the point: You don't have to be friends with everyone. We have a little feeling inside that gives us alarms for certain people and there's a reason for that. You can be polite to everyone, but Johnny could be a sociopath, so don't go to the movies with him!

HAPPY BOXING DAY!!!

Sorry....I got so busy the last couple of days I didn't even wish everyone a Merry Christmas like I planned (except everyone that got cards, form letters and talked to us.)



Ha! Ha! Ha! Merry Christmas!!!



On Christmas Eve, as I was backing out of the driveway, I noticed this strange wicker chair just in the alcove of our front doorway. I thought, What is that chair doing near the front door? So I called from my cell phone and asked the family if they knew anything about it. No one did. "JON AND ANNIE!!!" Nothing like catching us off guard at Christmas time for a nice practical joke. I will be returning the chair after I paint it bright pink. It will go well with the flamingos I left them last year! (Or was that the year I did Memorial Day wreaths?) What kind of nice Christmas décor can I pick up for 90% off?



We always get together with my step-family for Christmas Eve dinner for Italian food with recipes have been passed down from generation to generation. Most of my friends know I don't do pasta. It's not that I don't like it......it doesn't like me. There was fish and plenty of other food. Jared had to make my traditional "English toffee" this year due to my hand problem.



Christmas day:



Littlest Pet Shop kept Mimi occupied for the rest of the day! The rest of us were like zombies opening our gifts because it was almost 9:00 AM, afterall. We had a fun day that ended with my brother and his family and my mom and stepdad over for dinner. It was a very white Christmas with a blizzard that left the roads snow packed for shopping today!

Here comes trouble!

Here's my 17 year old baby boy, Seth, carrying his two cousins, Wilson (left) and Jacob (right). He just carried them around for awhile and they loved every minute of it. Aren't they all chick magnets? The little dudes are almost four years old and cute to the core. They're like two little cyclones running around!

Mellow Yellow

One trait that Jared's family has is that their conversation always ends up turning to the toilet. So amidst the discussion about the half flushes and full flushes and the water rations, someone brought up that there was a commercial that a lady had written who's motto was, "If it's yellow - let it mellow. If it's brown - flush it down." Of course, I found that extra funny since I've been referring to everything being flush worthy or not.

Yesterday (Friday) was Fiona's birthday. We went to a tavern for dinner and met her father and siblings & spouses there. We knew her family from living here before but haven't seen them in 12 years. I can't think of Fiona's dad, Noel (rhymes with Joel), without remembering a time when Seth was about 2 1/2 years old. We went up to Rockhampton where he lived, stopped in for a visit and while we were all around the dinner table Noel walked up the stairs with Seth behind him. Those who have ever had toddlers know when they discover something they go through a phase of announcing it (like asking your favorite color or age.) Seth's new saying was, "I can smell something!" Then he would tell you what it was, like bread or burgers, etc. So as he followed Noel up the stairs he announces, "I can smell something!" Noel turns around and says, "You can? What do you smell Seth?" Seth answers, "A fluff! Pah! A stinky fluff!" We all teased him thinking he could get away with it.

Then there was a time when Seth was two and Fiona had him for the day, just to spend time with him. They stopped by Noel's and Seth had to go to the bathroom. Fiona went in to wipe his bottom and Seth says, "I don't want you to wipe my bum, I want Noel to wipe my bum!" Noel quickly said, "That's alright, Mate, Fiona will do it."

Tomorrow I will have a little more time to post some pictures - it's 11:30 pm and time for me to drop into bed!

Here she is.....Ali in her favorite place! Shopping! This is just one view of the never ending mall in Chermside. Here she is with Katherine (Kat) who looks like a fashion model after two kids. She cheats though, because she's a personal trainer. She teaches classes at local gyms on yoga, pilates and spinning. She explained that spinning is indoor cycling, which I replied, "Oh, I know what the exercises are, I just don't do them." I love the lime green couches in this store and they would look so cute in my house. It's out of the budget, though. I'll have to continue to love my red couches instead.





Here is Ali with Fiona, who looks like a fashion model, even after four kids. We had a great time shopping, having lunch and more shopping. We are still trying to recuperate from jet lag and eating dinner at 4 am our time. My digestive system is rebelling. It's only 8:00 pm and I'm ready to fall into bed. We were all awakened by the rooster early this morning. His days are numbered.