Wednesday, April 14, 2010

All in a Week

How do you go from this:

To this
in the same week? I actually had nightmares about wasps the same night I took this photo. So really, how do you go from snow to Spring and back to snow? I hope it killed all those horrible wasps.
I have a nightmare story about a hornet. When I lived in Australia it was a well-known fact that I was petrified of bugs. PETRIFIED - I say. I still am, but our bugs here seem relatively small in comparison. Entomophobia is the fear of bugs. If you say it real fast it kind of sounds like "enema-phobia." I'm afraid of those, too.
I must explain that those Aussies are tough people. I don't think I met one wimp in the seven years I lived there. They thought I was a bit of a freak to be afraid of bugs. They don't need modern conveniences like dryers, furnaces and air-conditioners in Queensland. They open their windows to let the fresh air in and who needs screens? What's a little preying mantis, Christmas beetle or wasp? Just get the fly swatter out and smash 'em, right?
One sunny day, I noticed a humongous wasp flew in my living room window. It flew right into my shadow box and flew back out. A minute later it flew back in, went to the same section in the shadow box and flew back out. PETRIFIED I was. It did this a few more times and I realized it may be making it's home in my shadow box. I slammed down the window and every window in my house in the blazing hot summer. It flew to the window, trying to get in and then to my kitchen window. It was after me. So when I called my husband at work and told him he had to come home to kill "a stinging thing that was after me," he thought I was over-exaggerating.
"I have to leave this house! It's after me! It's going to get me!"
In his Aussie accent he said, "Just wait 'til I get home tonight, I'll get it then," trying to be sympathetic.
"I can't stay inside with the windows down with the kids!" I scooped them up and put them in the car. I saw the hornet still flying around the window. I drove to my in-laws. I told them about "the stinging thing that was after me." They, too, thought I was exaggerating. I never exaggerate, so I don't get it. They laughed at me and assured me it wasn't actually after me. I called Jared from there and told him I wasn't coming home. I know he was laughing inside and probably annoyed by my phobia. He got used to me screaming every time I opened a kitchen cupboard when I found TWO INCH COCKROACHES lying on their backs with their legs still moving, moving ever so slowly, dying from the pesticide. Shudder.
He called his parents house to talk to me. "You won't believe this!" he said excitedly. "As soon as I came home and opened the window it flew in and it came after me! But don't worry, I've killed it, you can come home now." And that is why he is like my own personal Steve Irwin. "Aw, it's just a little fella with a stinger on it's rear. It won't harm you unless you provoke it to defend itself." I never exaggerate when it comes to bugs. And this one was after me.


Lisa said...

It was totally after you. Just like every single spider in the world knows my name and they have meetings about how to get me at my most vulnerable. Hate them. And I fully support your phobia.

Saimi said...

Hey sista, you have good cause to be afraid! I visited my sister when they lived in Maryland and I tell you, the bugs there were like no other. At night you could hear them all making their night sounds and it was creepy!

Cindy Geilmann said...

Hi Krista, I'm visiting you from Just a Bed of Roses. I loved the story of you wasp friend trying to get you. I know it was true! Good luck to you.


Brenda @Just a Bed of Roses said...

Too funny Krista...that's quite a fearful story. maybe it could be a movie or something, you could get rich and famous too.

thanks for sharing.

Leenie said...

Everyone has their right to phobias. Yours is a good one.

The bugs don't creep me out too much. BUT if I look out my window and see a bilzzard too many more times this spring I'm gonna book a one way flight to somewhere tropic.!!! SERIOUS!

Nancy said...

Yes, we are relatively lucky as far as bugs go here. BUT, judging by how much just flys (flies?) in my house freak me out, I don't think I would have done well with your Australia bugs either!

Serene is my name, not my life! said...

Coming from FL, yea, not a big fan of the bugs either. Especially cockroaches. *shudder*

See Mom Smile said...

You are married to an Aussie? Now that is cool. But not cool that his homeland is full of the enemy...bugs! Sorry.

Anonymous said...

Oh Krista, you are sooooo funny. All you had to do was take a fly swat and kill the damn thing!!!

and hey...we Australians have become a little soft now - we like screens and air conditioners...although we still kill the bugs with sprays or swats because they're nasty!!!

Your renditions make me laugh because I can actually remember the actual events......LOL, LOL, LOL.

Love you..... :)

Glamazon said...

I am TERRIFIED of wasps. I find that reasonable, since they STING and all. I didn't know you lived in Australia! I didn't know your hubby was australian-look at all the things I learn :)

Kari said...

I think Jared killed it because he was jealous that the thing was trying to invade his territory! Gotta love those knights in shining armor!

Karen said...

Two earwigs today.....let's say I feel your pain. :)