I went to a job fair today. I don't know why they call it a fair. It's not fun. And it's not fair that I don't have a job! Well, it still didn't help me know what I want to be when I grow up. Growing up sucks. But not as much as growing out.
I had my resume scrutinized by a professional at the "fair." I got an "A" on my resume. I just needed to change a couple of things, like the font size for my address, the hot pink paper and get rid of the part where I say I'm 29. The girl said they may think I live a really hard life if I get an interview. Oh.....and she said I should leave out the part where I said I'm a Hispanic African American of Indian descent in a wheelchair and not sure if I'm male or female. But my 127 IQ score sure comes in handy! Especially being as gorgeous as I am and smart, too. I was commended for graduating from high school. That's such a big accomplishment for a blonde! No, really I was commended for graduating and all that other stuff was made up, except being gorgeous. And I don't know why I have to keep trying to prove to people how smart I really am. Maybe I should get a shirt that says "I'm with stupid" so they will know I'm smarter than them. Or "I scored a 127 on a free IQ test that comes with liposuction information."
Job hunting sucks! And why do they call it hunting? Like deer hunting? Like Easter egg hunting? Why couldn't I just be a rich housewife having lunch at the country club with a massage man named Sven? Then the only hunting I would do is "bargain hunting." Armed with plastic, with a mission to conquer and put lots of goodies in my basket.