Tuesday, June 29, 2010

When Vacuums Attack

There it is, looking innocent enough. But heed my warning.....it is an accident waiting to happen. Just like owning a pit bull, you'll never know if it will return to it's natural fighting instincts, jaws meant for locking down on the enemy. This is my Dyson Animal vacuum, aka the Dyson Pit Bull.
It's not like it was neglected. I took it out for a venture every once in awhile. Keeping it on it's leash - when it happened. It turned on me. As I was adjusting the bottom of it, the handle dropped down on my foot. You know the thing you wrap the cord around? Hit me right on the top of my instep. This is the freak attack we all fear and this is how it left me maimed and swearing. Actually, I didn't swear at all but I rolled around on the floor wailing for awhile.
Later that day, my true colors shone through. Shades of purple, pink and blue. That was one week ago. Today, it is blue, green and the purple now spreads halfway down my toes. I now have two insteps on my left foot. I went to the doctor three days after the accident and it was a little bit broken. Just the tip is kind of chipped. He gave me a pretty shoe but after four days I quit wearing it. It Velcros across the top and made it ache all day.

Vacuums are not our friends. They are dangerous species waiting to turn on you. No matter how pretty they look - beware. Because of this attack, I cannot even look at another vacuum without shaking and crying. I now have suck-a-phobia.

17 comments:

Lisa said...

Never smile at a crocodile...let us change the words to suck-o-dile. I'm so sorry about your new anxiety. Seems to me you'll never be expected to vacuum again. You're kind of brilliant, if bruised.

Donda said...

HOLY CRAP! I bet you are so ready to lay down hard woods!

Garden of Egan said...

Oh my heck! That is some serious injury! Have you contacted a lawyer?
You may have to have the beast tested for rabies.

Dang that looks sore.
If I was a neighbor I'd bring ya a delicious tuna casserole or sumthin'

Saimi said...

Ouchie ouch!! That is a bad one!! I'm a litte scared, I have the same breed of vacuum. I might have to wear steel toed boots from now on!

Camie Rae Coles said...

Um...ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?!?!?!? What in the crap is going on here? That is out of control! I am so so sorry! Wow.

Holly said...

Oh... OWIE!! I would be SCARRED for LIFE!! NEVER to vaccuum again... Shhh... I don't have a good enough excuse right now... Except for "HOUSEWORK is EVIL! It MUST be STOPPED!" Looking at my house RIGHT NOW... yeah... better not... it's SCEERY!

I'm sorry you had to go through so much pain to gain understanding in the EVIL VACCUUM predicament... NOW they'll HAVE to listen! ...and it's your family's JOB to PROTECT YOU from the perpetrator forever more!! You're a VICTIM!!

(((HUGS)))

Nancy said...

It reminds me of that church lesson about the boy who carried the snake down the mtn only to have it bite him. The old, "You knew what I was when you picked me up." Yes, that is just what that vacuum will say to any of us now if we trust them again and they attack us. They'll simply say, "You saw the damaged foot. You knew this could happen."

Serene is my name, not my life! said...

OMGracious sakes! Vacuums are pretty sneaky like that. Dirty buggers.

I hope your foot feels better!

Leenie said...

Wow! COLORS! and pain. Perhaps you should have that evil creature put down and turn the job over to professionals. Yeah.

And about the Dr. What do they know. Here, put on this fancy shoe "because it will HURT MORE, you twit." (Fav line from Robin Hood-the dorky version w Cosner, not the cool one with Crowe.)

My vacuum likes to take strings off the carpet, roll them in a ball and then smoke them. Meltdown. New belt replacement takes all the tools in the box and an hour. Who invents these things???

Get well soon.

Teachinfourth said...

Holy Hannah…

Maybe you have an alien living inside of your foot and it'll rip out like that scene out of Aliens.

Then again, perhaps not. Hope it gets better soon.

See Mom Smile said...

Okay that pic of your foot made me nauseous. So sorry. I think that would keep me away from housework for awhile. Soooo sorry. You deserve a pair of cute shoes after this.

Kristina P. said...

OK, my eyes literally popped out of their head! Holy crap! This is an excellent post to convince Adam to do all the future vacumming.

Kari said...

Sorry I haven't been commenting lately. I haven't even been on blogs for about a month! But want you to know I still care!

Now about this whole foot thing.... you just don't want us to know that you kicked Jared's butt and that's what did this! Ya, ya...I hear you. Putting the blame on an innocent vacuum is a brilliant idea though! Nice job!

Seriously hope it's feeling better :)

Charlotte said...

Your poor foot. You deserve a Roomba or something so you never need deal with that vicious machine ever again.

Brenda @Just a Bed of Roses said...

Oh my lands Krista...maybe I will copy a photo of your foot and tape it on my dyson...then DH will do the vacuum cleaning...always!

this IS brilliant kind of...

seriously sorry and you have my sympathy. Still...I don't cook anymore. Not changin'

One Cluttered Brain said...

OWie! I don't know how i missed this post...*sigh**
I am SO sorry that Dyson pitbull got your foot.
Bad Dyson. Bad vaccuming.

Next chore on the list--Not vaccuming for YOU..Husband must or those short people you got hanging around the house...

That vaccum is dangerous!

Diane J. said...

OUCH! Oh sheesh, I'm fidgeting just looking at your sore, sore foot. And I really wanted a Dyson, maybe I should rethink that.