Thursday, November 20, 2008

Mourning the Loss of a Friend

Sorry, another deep thinking post. It's not like me, I know, but my funny bone is sprained at the moment. I'm mourning off and on about the loss of a friend. Not to death, but the end of a friendship. I don't lose friends very often and I tend to take it hard when I do.

I heard a speaker talk about friendships and it really changed my perspective. Certain people come into your life at certain times when you need that kind of friend. Sometimes, friends move on or you've outgrown the friendship or had a falling out. Instead of directing bad feelings towards them, be appreciative of the things you've learned from them or what they offered you at the time when you were friends. There is something to learn from everyone.

I want to include the lyrics of a song that I love from the musical "Wicked." I can dedicate this to everyone who has been in and out of my life:

FOR GOOD

I've heard it said that people come into our lives for a reason, bringing something we must learn.
And we are led to those who help us most to grow, if we let them and we help them in return.
Well I don't know if I believe that's true
but I know I'm who I am today because I knew you......

Like a comet pulled from orbit as it passes a sun, like a stream that meets a boulder halfway through the wood.
Who can say if I've been changed for the better? But because I knew you, I have been changed for good.

It well may be that we will never meet again in this lifetime, so let me say before we part
So much of me is made of what I learned from you, you'll be with me like a handprint on my heart.
And now whatever way our stories end
I know you have re-written mine by being my friend....

Like a ship blown from it's mooring by a wind off the sea. Like a seed dropped by a skybird in a distant wood.
Who can say if I've been changed for the better? But because I knew you I have been changed for good.

And just to clear the air I ask forgiveness for the things I've done you blame me for.
But then, I guess we know there's blame to share and none of it seems to matter anymore.

I do believe I have been changed for the better, because I knew you, I have been changed for good.

9 comments:

Karen said...

So beautifully written.

I cringe to think what you might have learned from me.

I think it would be appropriate to say that I'm sorry for your loss.

Christina said...

((((Hugs to your heart))))

From one who has lost a few friends along the road of life

Diane said...

So sorry about your friend, Krista. Just remember you have your family and your not getting rid of us. We are like the bad penny thing! Love ya

Krista said...

Karen, you have no reason to cringe! I love you so much and am lucky to have such a wonderful friend! I'm sad for those who don't have a friend like you!

Krista said...

Christina, thanks so much for the (((hugs))) and for being empathetic.

Diane, thanks for your kind words. I mean that sincerely.

Jodi said...

I am retarded. I wrote a comment and lost it. It may appear later and then you will get two! Sorry!

Try again...

♥hugs♥

Stop by and enter my GIVE AWAY!!!!

Donna said...

I found your blog on google...I was looking for skills to help me get through the loss of a friendship with a pal I thought I would grow old with...Thanks for letting me read your wisdom...My heart aches but I hope with time it will get better...

Jean said...

I really enjoyed those lyrics. At the moment I am mourning the loss of one of my best friends. It's a long story, but the bottom line is after a 15 yr friendship we don't speak. Tomorrow marks the 1 yr mark since we have seen each other. It is still quite difficult for me to move on because it wasn't my decision to end the friendship and she was the one who cut me out. So i feel a lack of closure. Anyway, when will this get better? When will i be able to not think about it or her not be in my dreams?

Jean

Krista said...

Jean,

I am so sorry for your loss of friendship. It has been a couple of years now since I wrote this. I try to use every experience good or bad to learn something from. You can't change someone else but you can change your own perception. I have made peace with the situation and have closed that chapter. I choose to spend my time with people who appreciate me. It hurts so much for a while, but it will get better. The dreams and the ruminating will eventually stop. Sometimes you just have to try to make as much sense in your mind as you can. If your friend doesn't forgive you there's nothing that you can do about it, so do what YOU can. Forgive yourself, forgive them and give your time to other people. You WILL heal.