Clumsy

I keep trippin' and not in a party kind of way. As hard as I try, my kids won't keep my house clean. I was innocently walking along and crash! My foot caught the edge of a shoebox filled with crayons. What is it doing in this room anyway?! So when my ankle stops hurting, I'll get up and go and watch the news.

ANNUS HORRIBULUS

A few years ago, I broke my elbow......tripping over my daughter's shoes. They were in a spot on the floor that the kids always left their shoes. I warned them a million times to pick them up or someone will trip over them. That someone was me. That's when my daughter became my personal slave.

That's not the worst of it. Three weeks later, I took my three year old and my broken elbow to visit my friend in Kansas. I should have just taken my broken elbow, because it was more painful taking my three year old. I was trying to get her and a two year old to come inside and turned to go into the garage - BAM! I don't know what actually happened but I remember seeing the floor coming towards my face. I did a body scan to make sure I didn't hurt my elbow again - nope. My friends came running out, noticing the blood and swelling instantly between my eyes and as Craig went to help me up my body quickly let me know my knee was injured.

Off to the doctor we went and yep, I broke my knee. So I had a knee immbolizer on my left knee, a splint for my right elbow - I really should have got the complete set and got a neck brace. The worst part was trying to figure out what I was going to tell everyone when I got home - besides "We're not in Kansas anymore."

I came up with this awesome story about how I was skydiving and my parachute didn't open in time. No one believed me. So I used the excuse that it was my annus horribulus. If the queen can have one, then why can't I?